Vomitus Interruptus

Last weekend, like most fall weekends, we headed out with our blankets and chairs to Miss C’s soccer games. She had a travel tournament at our local complex just up the road (now that’s my kind of travel soccer). That Sunday was a picture perfect fall day except for the incident of vomitus interruptus, a nightmare situation that instills fear in the bravest of parents. Sniffles, sore throats, hand, foot and mouth disease…I can handle  pretty much any childhood illness thrown at me, but an episode of vomiting a la the Exorcist is not one of them.

Miss A complained about not feeling well all morning and even tried to nap on the sidelines, but I just blew it off, blaming it on her being dragged out to yet another one of big sister’s soccer tournaments on a chilly morning more suited to sleeping in and curling up in flannel pjs.

As we were leaving and she complained, again, of not feeling well it dawned on me that she might actually have a stomach bug. Miss C had grabbed the styrofoam cup of pink lemonade from my hand and started to sip it and I freaked. “Don’t drink that! Your sister may be sick!” Miss A was washed out and her spunkiness had been snuffed out. We piled into hubby’s SUV, the two-door car in the family…the vehicle that is very difficult, nay impossible, to get out of in the event of an unexpected and urgent need to vomit. Murphy’s Law of kid puke…you’ll never be near a toilet when it happens.

I’ve got years of parenting under my belt. I should know by now that if your child is very vague about feeling icky in their stomach that all hell is about to break loose. Vomiting is sneaky like that.

So, without much ado, here’s my handy dandy interpretation guide to kids and vomiting:


“I’m really hot.”


“I’m about to get sick…SICK I TELL YOU!”


“My stomach doesn’t feel so good.”


“I’m about to hurl like a boss all over you, your car, your favorite t-shirt. Pull over now and grab a grocery sack or just rip off your shirt and let me get sick in it!”


“I think I’m going to throw up.”


“You’ve got one second to get me a barf bag, stat.”


“I feel so much better now.”


“I’m going to nap and watch movies the rest of the day while you people clean up this mess.”

Miraculously no one else in our house caught the bug.

Also? Don’t ever let your kid order pink lemonade mysteriously procured from the back of a food wagon at a sports tournament.

Where’s the craziest place your kids have ever gotten sick?


  1. Amy says:

    It was always the car on long triip. I finally figured out when they say they are hot and don’t feel good, pull the HELL OVER and GET THEM OUT!!! 🙂

  2. Jamie says:

    Amy, it’s always always in the car on road trips!

    Beth, thank you. She missed school that Monday but by the time I got home from work that afternoon she was telling me she was “bored.” A sure sign she was on the rebound!

Leave a Reply