Sh*t My Couch Says

I disassembled our couch Friday and vacuumed underneath the cushions since I couldn’t remember the last time I had done that or if I’d actually ever done it. Despite our sofa being only about 6 months old, its nooks and crannies are already a magnet for various and sundry items that I can pretty much blame on the small inhabitants of our house.

If our new couch could talk, I can only imagine what it would say:

I am not a dirty clothes hamper! Get that stinky sock away from me!

You’re not supposed to be eating on me….PUT THE PRETZELS DOWN.

Wait, did you just wipe your nose with that thing?

I appreciate you doing homework on me, but can you put away the dracula eraser and the sharp pencil?

Obviously the girls are not taking my high mama decree of NO EATING ON THE NEW COUCH too seriously although I suppose one pretzel isn’t too bad.

What you can’t see are a few Jack dog hair tumbleweeds that managed to make their way under the couch cushions even though he doesn’t get on the couch. Dog hair…it’s sneaky like that.  And of course I didn’t find any money. Sniff!

Next in this series…

Sh*t The Interior Of My Car Says (Man if it could only talk, it would say a lot. It takes a lot of abuse. Ahem.)

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in your couch?

Have you seen this hilarious video from Mama Knows It All? If you’re a mom blogger you will definitely get a laugh out of it!


  1. Amber says:

    This is too funny! Some of these videos have been distasteful, but I’m always surprised by these fun variations. This is too true!

  2. Amber says:

    We are about to move, and the thing I dread the most is discovering what is under the furniture! With a two-year-old, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected!

  3. Kelly Burroughs Crowell says:

    Oh dear I can’t begin to imagine what our couch would say because we have a 17 yr old daughter & 11 yr old son along with 2 small dogs (who think they own the house) and teen/pre-teen children running in and out constantly! The poor couch would probably just simply break down and cry if it could 🙂

  4. Farrah Shumway says:

    So funny! I am also AMAZED by what I find in my couch. I try to clean & vacum them out every couple months but each time it still ends up looking like a tornado went through. I have 1 dog who does get on the couch, 2 cats ( both are bigger then the dog,) 1 husband, 3 teenagers(4 in the summer) & 1 toddler. So as you can imagine things get lost in there! It use to be on accident only but now I have found in the past few months that the 2yr old thinks its a hidding place. I will catch him hidding his toys, puzzle pieces & on occasion his snacks…Yuck!

  5. Charlene Kuser says:

    I just love it and my couch is saying the same thing.Sometimes it feels like a treasure
    mine.One time I found a diamond earring in the couch,I felt like I had won the lottery,
    It just doesn’t get cleaned that often.

  6. Giant Sis says:

    Love it! I’m sure my couch would say a lot! The weirdest thing I found was one of my dog’s teeth! Ewwww.

Leave a Reply