I’m A Barbie Girl In A Freak Doll World

Miss C and I headed to the toy store last weekend. It was a lazy, rainy day…a perfect day for her to go shopping with the gift card she received last month for her birthday.

At 9 she’s at that age where so many of the toys she played with just a couple of years ago are no longer on her “cool slash must have” list. She bypassed all things pink and glittery and ultimately settled on a fun new virtual pet game for her Nintendo DS.

As we walked toward the checkout aisle, I overheard a sales associate asking a woman if she needed help finding anything.

“We’re looking for a, uh… dracula girl doll?” I heard the woman inquire with a nervous giggle.

Dracula. Girl. Doll.

I knew exactly what she was talking about.

The salesperson led her to the Monster Hell, I mean Monster High, aisle, an aisle that, thankfully, Miss C breezed right by. My girls tend to be tomboys, but when they do play with dolls they go for the good and boring and predictable variety, like American Girl or Barbie.

When I was a kid the level of bizarre doll universe was pretty well limited to my brother ripping Barbie’s head off and switching it with Skipper’s. These days, though, the freak level of dolls marketed for little girls seems to be somewhere between pole dancer and spawn of Lady Gaga. (Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Lady Gaga but I don’t necessarily think 6-year-olds need to play with dolls that wear more make up than clothing.)

If you’re not familiar with Monster High dolls, think slutty great granddaughters of Morticia Addams. While I have friends whose daughters love these dolls, I am not shedding any tears over the fact that my girls have never expressed interest in them.

I love how the Toys R Us website promotes this doll from the Monster High series (and as a reminder, this is a series of dolls that is marketed toward girls ages 6 and up.)


Lagoona is always dressed in a hip outfit that’s ready for surfing, volleyball or meeting some guys.

I bet she is.

And Barbie here I thought you were such a wild and crazy girl with your dream townhouse parties back in the 70s.


  1. Carrie at TikiTikiBlog! says:

    I seriously think some of these toy designers and manufacturers work high.

    That is the most horrific and tragic doll I have seen in a while.

    And maybe that woman you saw looking for the doll is high too.

    I try not to be a judgy judgy mom, but really?

    (This is why I rarely, if ever, take my kid to the toy store…)

    Hilarious, post…

  2. Jamie says:

    You know come to think of it…

    (ha ha!)

    I try to avoid the big box toy store, too. I was obviously desperate to get out of the house on a rainy weekend. 😉

  3. Jennifer says:

    These dolls make me sick. I’m always shocked when parents by their girls toys like this. I just think they are completely inappropriate.

  4. Una says:

    I think these designers just can`t find out new clothes for dolls which will attract girls anymore. They need to find something unprecedented. So, they make these horrific dolls!
    Maybe we, moms, here are just too old-fashioned and we don`t understand high art! (giggling)

  5. Zullala says:

    Yeah, I don’t think the Monster High dolls send a very good message for little kids. I especially hate Clawdeen’s box (the wolf-girl). It talks about how she has to shave her legs constantly because she’s sooOooo hairy. Sheehs, if I was a wolf-girl, I would just let all my body hair grow how it likes to grow. Plus, it’s ridiculous to place these kinds of beauty standards on 6 year olds. I don’t think it’s the end of the world if a girl doesn’t feel like shaving her legs or spending an hour in front of the mirror putting makeup on.

    All that said, I love the monster high dolls. Lol, I’m 23 and I have 4 of them and will probably get more =^_^=. I think this doll should be marketed to older kids… and young adults tee hee.

    I’ll never like those Bratz dolls though… They just creep me out.

  6. anymous says:

    oh and im 12 and i dont wear make up or shave sure i want to but i decided to wait til im allowed besides i dont need it anyways cuz im only 12

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  8. Stephanie says:

    If you would watch any of the movies, the monster girls are sweet 15ish kids. They are not slutty; they are just teenage daughters of famous monsters. The comments here are surprising, but in keeping with those women who judge others from atop their moral high ground. My 11 year old daughter goes to church, volunteers at the humane society and loves these dolls.

  9. Rebecca says:

    I don’t have any girls but my bestie has a 12 year old whom I love as one of my own and she happens to own just about every Monster High doll. When I first seen them I thought they were pretty cool. They have these journals that come with them that tells you their story and about their famous monster parents. I have to say I really think that are very cool and if I were 12 I would want them myself. I actually collect Barbies myself.

  10. Dad says:

    Lighten up, they’re dolls. Bratz are worse. The name says it all – bad attitude. Monster High dolls are a fantastical look at what if famous movie monsters had daughters. It’s still in the realm of make believe and fun. Teach your kids that. The characters are actually pretty nice to each other. Now if they had real monsters like the daughter of Charles Manson, Hitler, Satan himself, etc. then I would worry. Also, I’ve seen some pretty slutty looking Barbies if you want to know the truth. Like any toy, pick the ones that suit your likes and needs. My 9 year old has 4 of these dolls and Draculaura’s coffin. We love em. She doesn’t dress like them or wear make up. She goes to church and excells academicly and athleticly. She just thinks they’re fun. They actually lead to some pretty interesting conversation and teaching moments. The mummy doll led to a discussion about King Tut and all things Egyptian. I’m sure at some point she will move on to the next cool thing. Till then, Monsters R’ Us.

  11. Heather says:

    I have to agree that these dolls are marketed to kids too young to make appropriate choices. These dolls objectify girls and make them into “boy toys” at 6 years of age. There’s nothing cool about teaching a girl to dress in a miniskirt so high that not only are her “wares” showing, but apparently their up for free fondle. I mean really… it’s all about what boys we’re going to see this weekend and how slutty we can dress. That is the WHOLE point of this and the marketing behind it. IT’s NOT about…how smart, clever, or creative we can be as young women…which is something that Wednesday Addams herself was about!!!… It is instead about sexual gratification and objectification of young girls. I refuse to let my daughter play with these dolls or watch the show, and I’m bordering on refusing her friendships with girls whose moms allow their daughters to play with this trash, because it objectifies rather than edifies.

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