Death By Panties

I brought home a Roomba back in February after attending Blissdom and although I swore I would never get attached to such a frivolous thing I must admit that I have become quite enamored with its ability to vacuum the floors while I tend to very important things like changing my Facebook status or making myself a snack. I’m also rather enthralled with its ability to vacuum our hardwood floors and fill its bin with dust and debris…dust and debris I apparently have never noticed since I may or may not be the best housekeeper.

The Roomba is now an integral part of our family, though. Our dog Jack barely notices Roomba when he tries to vacuum up his paws and even Barbie’s yellow lab Tanner has taken a spinon his back. Heck we may even have to throw a birthday party for Roomba next year.

Last Saturday we were heading out for the afternoon so I thought it would be the perfect time to let Roomba be unsupervised for a little while. He is, after all, now basically a toddler in Roomba years. I made sure the hallway was blocked off so he wouldn’t get lost in our bedrooms. Or at least I thought I did.

When we got home that night I noticed Roomba was gone. GONE I TELL YOU! He hadn’t parked himself in his little charger and I was quite distressed to not see his familiar cheerful green light.

Where, oh where, had Roomba gone?

I looked everywhere and finally headed to our bedroom where I found him lifeless and in the dark. He was in the corner and had apparently choked on a pair of my black cotton underwear. CHOKED!

My Roomba bad parenting skills are going to cost me freaking $39 in replacement parts AND a new pair of cotton mama drawers, seeing as my black panties were completely dusty and mamed after Roomba tried to eat them.

Maybe I need to set up a baby monitor for the Roomba just to make sure this horrible scenario doesn’t happen ever again. Or maybe I should dust off our regular vacuum and starting vacuuming again.

Naaaaah.

19 comments

  1. Kaye says:

    So glad to hear you love your Roomba on your hardwoods. I may put one on my Christmas list. I could not wait to read this post after your tweet! I can’t imagine what a girl found last week when she started cleaning my house. Scared to ask actually.

  2. Lynn says:

    What a funny story! And you told it perfectly! I’ve always wondered if I should get one of those things. Do they work as well as advertised? As dirty as my house gets, I’d be worried I’d have to devote more time to cleaning out the dirt it collects than just vacuuming myself. Or, even worse, I’d choke one to death every other week!

  3. Tamara B. says:

    Such a funny post! I really needed the laugh! Also have always been curious if the Roomba really worked so I guess it worked too good : )

  4. Liz says:

    R.I.P. Roomba. Oh, wait, it’s just mostly dead, right? Well, then you’re right, that boy owes you a pair of panties! Or, do you think maybe the dog did it? Vying for your attention? If so, your post just turned really, really, sad, really.

  5. Jeff says:

    Got to love those dogs. I remember my dog eating my hitachi vcr remote back in the day. $124 special remote. Vcr would not work with universal remotes. I never replaced it.

  6. kyle says:

    My Roomba chases my dog around and essentially “plays” with my dog. So you could say that my Roomba pulls double duty, cleaning the house while entertaining the dog at the same time! What an ingenious invention I tell you!

    Mother’s Day Jewelry

  7. susan says:

    hilarious, hilarious…i can only hope for you they were not your best-going-out-and-might-get-run-over-by-a-bus ones that your mother approves of:)

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