My Daughter, Younger Mom Stalker

I still remember when thirty was old…

Strawberry Wine, Deana Carter

Yesterday when I got off work I promised the girls we’d head over to the pool at my sister’s apartment.

It was about 100 degrees in the shade so there were just a few diehards there. The woman so tan she needs to be a pin up girl for skin cancer. Her friend the beer sipper. A man reading a newspaper while his daughter played in the shallow end. And then a blonde woman in a red, white, and blue bikini and a little red-headed boy my girls met earlier this summer arrived about 10 minutes after we got settled.

Taking advantage of my first floaty free summer and the end of 24/7 mom duty in the pool (cue choir of angels), I was parked in a lounge chair poolside. Miss C, who never met a stranger, latched on to the bikini-clad younger woman as soon as she got into the pool. Honestly I couldn’t tell if she was the boy’s aunt or mom or babysitter, but then he started calling her “Mommy” and, well, that pretty much explained it.

“You’re his mom?” Miss C asked. She was fascinated by this mom…the younger mom in the bikini.

“How old are you?” Miss C followed up with the question most of us “older” (ahem) moms wince at.

“I’m 25,” replied the mom, not skipping a beat. She then started showing Miss C how to do underwater flips in the pool and explained she used to be a gymnast. I was trying not to hate her.

I could see the wheels spinning in Miss C’s brain.

“So  you were like 20 when you had him?” Miss C nodded toward the little boy. She was clearly intrigued with the concept of someone’s mom being only two years older than her oldest cousin Jessica, who is now living the single career girl life in New York after graduating from Vanderbilt.

I started laughing. “She’s just fascinated because she thinks I’m old now. I’m 40.”

Honestly I don’t consider being 40 with an 8-year-old “old,” except for those days my bad left knee acts up and I feel like an arthritic grandma and I do things like put Ibuprofen in a Ziploc baggie in my purse.

Miss C emerged from the pool and trotted over to me across the hot pavement for a drink.

“So do you think it’s cool that Elliot’s mom is just 25?” I asked her.

She patted me on the arm. “It’s OK mommy. It’s been nice knowing you.”

WTH? Do I have one foot in the grave or something? Obviously my kid thinks I am older than dirt now.

Kid I might not be rocking a bikini right now but when I was 25 I had six pack abs, not an almost 6-year-old.

Of course I’ll be almost 50 when Miss C graduates from high school with Miss A still a few years out from graduation, while Elliot’s mom will be empty nesting it before she hits 40, unless she has another child.

OK so maybe having kids in your 20s does have its advantages.

15 comments

  1. Jennifer says:

    Oh yeah, my mom had me when she was 17, and then my brother at 24. Of course that was way back in the day when that wasn’t frowned upon (she was married of course). I didn’t have my first until I was almost twice that age (33). The other day I was thinking about how when my daughter is my age and is raising her children she will also be having to take care of “old” parents and I felt bad for her. I mean we tried a long time to have kids, and I believe that they came around at the right time, but still… I’m going to be like the oldest mom at the kindergarten come August. That stings a little.
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..My worst nightmare =-.

  2. Jamie says:

    Busy Mom…wow you could! (Hey I’ll be 41 son so I can’t say much about that.)

    My mom had me when she was 35. My brother was 7 and my sisters were already 11 and 12 and my half-sister was 17. So 35 was kind of my mental cut off point for birthin’ babies. I felt like that was a good age. We got married when I was 27 and my husband was 26.

    Any way, I had Miss A at 35. In that peer group, especially with the daycare moms, I am one of the older moms.

    Oh well. What’s that line from Fried Green Tomatoes? I’m older and I’ve got better insurance!
    .-= Jamie´s last blog ..American Girl Doll Giveaway =-.

  3. Coma Girl says:

    There are advantages and disadvantages to both. My husband had kids (from his first marriage) like 16 seconds out of college. Then he had our daughter in his 40’s. He claims that he is a much better parent now because he’s more mature and smarter (and his career is already established). But he may just be telling me that to make me feel better. 😉

    My mother had me when she was 17 & my dad was 18 (yikes!) and while it was “cool” to have the young parents, I secretly wished for the older parents who didn’t, once I was able to stay home alone, always going out to relive their youth.

    You’re and I are somewhere in the middle and that’s good too 🙂
    .-= Coma Girl´s last blog ..Writers Workshop- Could Have Been Awk-WARD =-.

  4. EG says:

    Empty nester in her 30’s. That’s crazy.

    I’m the oldest, and my mom had me at 28 after 5 years of marriage. I had my oldest at 28 after 5 years of marriage (why did I get married at 22?! I don’t know)

    My son’s “best friend” in daycare, his mom is 10 years older than me. It’s funny how you can be in the same exact phase of life and not at all the same phase of life at the same time.
    .-= EG´s last blog ..Conversations with Little Man =-.

  5. ernestine says:

    It all comes home – lol. I remember when you told me “quite frankly” that everyone in your class at grade school – had younger mothers.
    Doing my math – I think I was 34 years old when you were born. Also remember when my oldest granddaughter told me – in my 50’s that her mom said I was old. Now that daughter is in her 50’s and I wonder how she would respond to that comment?
    Well – now in my 70’s – I do not feel old – I feel wonderful.
    .-= ernestine´s last blog ..Small Vegetable Garden =-.

  6. jos says:

    it’s been nice knowing you? she’s hilarious! oh dear, i better try harder. i’m 30 and we don’t have any kids yet. oh boy…

  7. Katie says:

    Oh my lord, I am seriously cracking up hysterically in my cubicle right now. I just love her funny comments — she is seriously too much! LOL

    Don’t feel bad though — Elliott’s mom may be wearing a bikini w/ a 6 year old, but she gave up (I hope) all of her fun partying years that you still got to experience in your 20’s! Plus we all saw that pic of you back in the day rockin’ your bikini — you were a total hottie! 🙂
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..Spam =-.

  8. claire says:

    I have always found societies “rules” on motherhood very interesting. Generally speaking, women younger than 24 are viewed as “too young” to having children and women past their mid-late 30’s are “too old”. It is just funny considering we are created bilogically to bear children anywhere from around age 13 to age 50! (PLEASE do not misunderstand me, I am NOT saying 13 year olds SHOULD have children)

    Anyhow there are pro’s and con’s to having children at any age. I’m 23 and my biggest struggle is making other mom friends. Most of the moms in my community are in the 30’s and as friendly as I am toward them I am never invited into their “inner circle”. As women, we should be bonding over motherhood regardless of age.

  9. Nanette says:

    We had our 3 boys by the time I was 30 and it worked for us. My sister got married at 38 and has had 2 children – I see that she tires much faster than I did however, she observed family and friends who had children early than she did and has mentally taken notes about how she wants to raise them. I think God gives us our kids at the right time for us and we should feel blessed by them.

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