If Eric Carle Was A Disgruntled Mother

Brown Bear Brown Bear Book

Brown bear, brown bear what do you see?

I see a wad of gum where it shouldn’t be.

Red bird, red bird what do you see?

I see laundry multiplying before me.

Yellow duck, yellow duck what do you see?

I see fingerprints staring back at me.

Blue horse, blue horse what do you see?

I see tufts of dog hair floating in the breeze.

Green frog, green frog what do you see?

I see dirty dishes calling out to me.

Purple cat, purple cat what do you see?

I see crumbs on the floor beckoning to me.

White dog, white dog what do you see?

I see an old dog who can’t hold her pee.

Black sheep, black sheep what do you see?

I see too much Sponge Bob and Wizards of Waverly.

Goldfish, goldfish what do you see?

I see a bathtub filled with bubbles and Barbies.

Teacher, teacher what do you see?

I see a backpack filled with papers I must read.

Children, children what do you see?

I see a margarita on the rocks, and it’s not for me!

29 comments

  1. Jodi says:

    i absolutely love this! totally hilarious and should be published like the goodnight bush book. or at least read to our husbands for empathy.

  2. Blonde Mom says:

    Thanks! I find inspiration in strange places…like the dirty dishes and laundry! Hmmm I should be inspired CONSTANTLY. 😉

  3. Deanna says:

    You are brilliant. Except there is NO such thing as too much “Wizards of Waverly Place” – Harper is my fashion guru!!

    Next challenge – “If you give a mouse a cookie” I always think – “If you give a mom a latte” – or a xanax, or a martini…LOL
    .-= Deanna´s last blog ..What I

  4. lifeinapinkfibro says:

    Fantastic! I am more like another Eric Carle mum today – I have eaten one apple, two chocolate bears, three crackers, four coffees, five pieces of sushi, one slice of chocolate cake, one cheese stick, one lollipop,and one slice of watermelon. Think I’ll go eat a nice green leaf before I transform into big fat butterfly!
    .-= lifeinapinkfibro´s last blog ..The Suitcase lurking in the shed =-.

  5. Stacia says:

    Raising my margarita on the rocks to you! As my cat (granted he’s orange, not purple) wallows in the dinner crumbs I can’t bring myself to hoover up off the floor. Love your creativity, and on a Monday, no less.
    .-= Stacia´s last blog ..One Sugar Please =-.

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