Regis, Kelly, And Maggie Gyllenhaal Want Your Input

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Thanks everyone for the great responses! Your feedback will be shared with LIVE! With Regis and Kelly and Maggie Gyllenhaal, so keep the great ideas coming!

Maggie Gyllenhaal is not only a gorgeous actress nominated for her first Oscar this year for her supporting role in Crazy Heart (which I must see), but like so many of us, she is a mom.

You may be wondering why the heck I am telling you this. I mean I was just discussing crabs yesterday.

I promise this is a fun post.

Are you ready?

Maggie will be on LIVE! with Regis and Kelly early this Friday morning on ABC and the lovely people behind the scenes contacted me, yes me–soccer mom, working mom living in the burbs of Nashville–about a fun collaborative project for tomorrow’s show.

I must confess I NEVER watch daytime TV any more, in fact I told the person who e-mailed me working with LIVE! with Regis and Kelly this. I mean seriously, unless you DVR it, daytime TV is a luxury. I have to leave the house about 7:40 Monday through Thursday mornings to drop Miss C off at school and I head straight for my 0ffice. However, when I was on maternity leave with Miss A and worked from home with her for nearly a year I watched Regis and Kelly almost daily. Also Kelly Ripa…how cute is she? She’s also very tiny and has three beautiful kids and a handsome husband. Let’s try not to hate on her. I don’t want to leave Regis out…I mean he’s REGIS.

Any way, the team at LIVE! with Regis and Kelly would like to hear your feedback on a parenting dilemma that Maggie, a working actress mom with a crazy schedule, is faced with…let me know what you think in the comments.

Maggie has been quoted in the media as saying she doesn’t want her daughter growing up and pursuing a career in Hollywood. She’s also concerned about the impact of the frequent travel and crazy schedules that comes with being the child of an actor.

Maggie has said, “We’ve traveled around a lot with Ramona and, while there are some wonderful things about that, what a young child really wants is stability and routine; she wants a sense of home. We’ve been trying to protect that and it’s one of our biggest challenges.” … Regis and Kelly want to know what fun things you do to keep your families grounded and connected to one another when much of our modern lives are spent communing, traveling and sometimes relocating entirely?”

If you could sit down with Maggie over coffee and give her some helpful advice, what would you say? I know moms (and dads) have tons of opinions, so spill it!

27 comments

  1. Shab says:

    How exciting! I’ll have to go into work really late tomorrow to catch it, huh? (or maybe just DVR it for later…)

    WOOHOO!

  2. Coma Girl says:

    I would tell Maggie that her husband (baby daddy?) is a major cutie and when she’s sick of him, she can send him my way. Either him or her brother.

    Oh and I think eating dinner together as much as possible, without the TV on is very important. Even if most of the time you find yourself repeating “eat one more piece of broccoli and you can have a cookie”. Kids will remember that time together.
    .-= Coma Girl´s last blog ..Working Mom Guilt =-.

  3. Org Junkie says:

    LOVE Regis and Kelly! I haven’t missed an episode in 20 years!!

    I have three kids and we make every Friday night pizza and movie night with them. It’s a fun way to connect!

  4. Shab says:

    OK…I forgot to leave my advice.
    Maggie, I think more than schedules and strict routines, you can focus on rituals. Morning rituals, bedtime rituals, etc can definitely help give continuity and familiarity to children, even when the environment is constantly changing with travel.

    Also, Ramona’s reality is the only one she knows right now.

    Just the fact that you’re concerned about the impact of your career on her future puts you ahead of the game in making sure that her needs are met.

    Good luck to you!
    .-= Shab´s last blog ..Make-up, make-down =-.

  5. Musings of a Housewife says:

    Wow, what a fun opportunity! My best advice is to guard family dinnertime. We always have family dinners. We try to work around busy schedules (we will eat at 8pm some nights and 5pm on others) and we sit at the table without the TV or other distractions and eat together. sometimes it’s casual sandwiches or leftovers, but we sit down together and talk and the kids have to ask to be excused. They don’t get to leave till everyone is done. It’s a great way to catch up after a busy day!

  6. Jerseygirl89 says:

    How cool! I will have to try to watch – which shouldn’t be too difficult, as we’re going to be snowed in again. Anyway, I would tell Maggie that her brother is gorgeous and that
    keeping a few familiar objects and always doing the same routine (bath, stories, songs and cuddles, bed, for example) can do wonders for making a kid feel stable anywhere and no matter what time it is. We use music to ‘cue’ our kids that it’s sleep time and they follow asleep anywhere as long as they here their sleep music.

  7. Family Travel Mom says:

    1. I totally agree with the eating dinner together EVERY night suggestion. Realizing mom and/or dad may not be home every night, it still is a time to share rememberances of the day. Even my quiet little guy would open up at the dinner table.
    2. As the family that “vacations for a living,” we’ve found kids do like routines but, as long as they’re with their parent(s) – even in a new place every two days – they stay very grounded. My kids still enjoy being with us – at home or on the road. And, as parents, we hear a lot of “the skinny” on their opinions, needs, wants, etc. on those long trips.
    3. When possible, try to watch an old TV series together each night before bed. We started with Little House on the Prairie, then the Waltons, then 7th Heaven… It gave the parents opportunities to discuss touchy or tragic character issues with our kids by way of decisions made by favorite characters in the show.

  8. Babybloomr says:

    Hmmm… Well, I traveled on a bus with a band (with my husband) for 15 years before having kids, so I have a little experience with lifestyle adjustments! After looking around and seeing all the different ways my friends in similar situations managed, we kinda figured out what worked for us. Every family is different, but we did hit on a few things that seemed to be universal– mainly, consistency. We’re a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants family, so this wasn’t easy for us! We tried really hard to keep bedtimes, mealtimes, bathtime and naptime the same every day, no matter where we were or which parent was in charge. We also built some family rituals around those absolutes, like a particular snack they loved in the afternoon, reading the same amount of books every night, same basket of bath toys wherever we were. I chose to stay home with the girls most of the time, but when we did travel, having those familiar touchstones during the course of a day (to the best of our ability–lots of flexibility!) seemed to produce two secure, happy, outgoing children. They are now 13 and 17, and their favorite thing in the world to do? Travel!
    .-= Babybloomr´s last blog ..Surprised by Kindness =-.

  9. Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels says:

    As an expat mom and frequent traveler, I can relate to her concerns – at the same time though, I don’t think that stability means being in the same place all the time. I think travel is a great experience for kids, it teaches them to be flexible and relate to people, and opens their mind to the variety of people, cultures, ethnics, and so forth – and hopefully fosters a tolerance and even a love for people and things that are different. Don’t we always try to teach that different doesn’t mean wrong?

    I think it’s definitely possible to create stability also while traveling or as expats: schedule for instance, I think is really important. An early bedtime (with a few exceptions for a special occasions), a time when the child does her homework, or reads with her parents or does something educational; a time when the child plays outside; family meals – one can create a daily schedule and stick to it fairly faithfully no matter where he/she is. It doesn’t need to be down to the minute, but it should be kept in place. Approach it the way the best homeschoolers do: create a structure and add a pinch of flexibility. So if you are in NYC the educational activity can be going to the Met instead of studying algebra one afternoon, and so on.
    .-= Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels´s last blog ..Stamp of approval: Clinique cream liner =-.

  10. Mary @ The Writer's Block says:

    I’ve noticed that my kids crave “family time.” That can be a movie or TV show, but their favorite? It’s one-on-one time, singing songs along to Daddy’s guitar playing, family devotions, and reading together.

    We keep bedtime consistent each night and our routine consistent (jammies, brush teeth, etc.). I think that helps with the “logistical” grounding for them. But for their emotional/spiritual/I-want-to-know-all-is-right-with-world health, it’s our family quiet time before bed. They love having their Daddy and me all to themselves, sitting around the living room, singing and reading.

    I would advise Maggie to carve out a “quiet time” full of her family’s favorite activities–reading, singing, praying–and keep those as consistent as possible. Those are things you can do anywhere!

    Mary
    Mom of 3 (ages 6,4,4)
    .-= Mary @ The Writer’s Block´s last blog ..Just … Um … Hello =-.

  11. WorkingMom says:

    I agree with everyone who noted the importance of rituals and routines more than anything for Ramona, or any other kid. As far as family connections, my kids have an uncle in the military whose family has lived all over the world as well as my in-laws who are Florida snowbirds. Webcams and email are HUGE for staying connected with my brother’s family. For the in-laws, the kids have always spoken to them at least once a week, and whenever something happened, from a lost tooth to scoring a goal to report cards, the kids would tell us and then call the grandparents. We did the same thing when I was a kid and my father traveled 3 out of 4 weeks a month – every night, Dad called at 7:30, and we’d tell him about our day (what was your best, what was your worst). My kids call Hubby every night before bed to tell about their day (he works second shift, and hardly has time with the Oldest during the week). Even if family is separated physically, the distance can be shortened by a phone call.
    .-= WorkingMom´s last blog ..Anger Management with Eye Candy =-.

  12. Pippi says:

    That is so exciting for you! I would say one word – R-O-U-T-I-N-E. Whether it be a bath every night before bed, or a certain book before bed, or a special sippy cup and plate she travels with. Routine makes the chaos in my house settle down.

  13. Jamie says:

    Thank you EVERYONE for the fabulous comments.

    I agree that routine is key. Kids find comfort in the routine, kind of like a favorite blanket or stuffed toy. It’s interesting to read about how everyone approaches this, but it does sound like there is one familiar theme for all families, no matter the circumstance.
    .-= Jamie´s last blog ..Regis, Kelly, And Maggie Gyllenhaal Want Your Input =-.

  14. Shauna says:

    Oh, Maggie darling … all I can tell you is that while it’s a grand idea to think you want to keep your daughter from the lime-light, once she reaches the ripe old age of say, ten, she will decide on her own if she wants to take up acting- or not. All you can do is wait it out and prepare to smile when she lands her first gig 🙂 And as for staying grounded … well, there’s different levels … don’t let her have her own flat screen mounted in her room and when she’s 16, go ahead and buy her a car but don’t make it a BMW. (unless it’s used, HA!) And always, do your best to make sure she understands how fortunate she really is. My family has moved cross-country and learned to depend on one another AND make new friends. We sit in the dining room- like the real one, not the kitchen one- a few nights a week; we play cards; and we ALWAYS watch Survivor together … other than that, we go our own ways and manage the organized chaos together 😉
    .-= Shauna´s last blog .. =-.

  15. Jessica says:

    WOOT for you!

    Tell Maggie that routine and ritual are wonderful ways to help establish what really gives us security – our relationships. Although it is a great way to create stability for Ramona to have the same toothbrush and snugglie every night, regardless of where the bed and sink are, I understand that Maggie may not always be able to participate in the bedtime ritual.

    The key here may be developing a special ritual for any time during the day when Maggie and Ramona are together. It can be something they can do together on a plane, in a cab, in a studio or green room, in a hotel, at Grandma’s house, or visiting HOT Uncle Jake. Pick something you and Ramona love to do together, Maggie, be it a song, finger-play, coloring, reading, joke-telling, making up a story, and give it a special name like “girl time.” Have whatever you need handy in your purse (in case it includes new books or a few crayons) and make it your routine to have “girl time” every day. Be sure to include “How are you today?” and “Tell me what you’ve been doing.” Because authenticity in our relationships comes from sharing with each other, and that relationship is what will always help Ramona feel loved and secure. She will be saying “I need some girl time!” as often as you will.

  16. Sarah Moore says:

    I would say every mother/father comes from a different circumstance. Money/No money, stay at home mom/working mom. What I have found is important, while being a working mom of 2 (2 yrs and 5months), is that while my husband and I run and grow our own business that I am mentally present for my children. That I have it under control. We may not be on a schedule, we do a lot of running here and there, I even take my 5 month old in his Baby K’Tan to networking meetings. BUT i do my best to always be present with them and teach them morals and values and how to treat others and how to treat themselves.
    I may not get the house clean as I like the laundry always done, but Addison and Charlie are happy when I’m happy and present in their lives. So no matter the routine I want them to walk away and grow up in life feeling and knowing love, and that love they can pass on to their friends and the family they create. I believe my husband and I do a good job at this. Hope that helps 🙂

  17. Subourbon Wife says:

    I am typically not one to dispense advice since I find I’m given waaaaay too much of it, but for Reg and Kelly I will make an exception. I agree with those who said having sit-down meals together (breakfast and dinner if possible). That way you can talk about what you’ll be doing that day, and later talk about what happened during the day. Also, my little girl loves reading a bedtime book together and then saying her prayers with Mommy before going to sleep. You don’t have to be religious for the prayer, just grateful for your blessings (wherever in the world you may be).
    .-= Subourbon Wife´s last blog ..A Fickle Pickle Tri

  18. Gracious Me says:

    I think we all agree that eating together is VERY important and not in front of the TV. But what make dinner important is that everyone is together and you all have each others undivided attention. This is a daily opportunity to show your child/children they are important and you care about their days.

    I also agree with routines being important. My children know that when we take a bath, that is just step one of the bedtime ritual. The time you spend reading a book or singing a little song or just snuggling will be a cherished time for years to come for both of you.

    I’d also like to suggest something else. This isn’t a set schedule kind of thing. If ever my DH and I worry that our children are feeling a bit left out of our lives we have a night dedicated to them individually. They pick our food, what we watch, what games we play, what books we read, where we go, any and everything is up to them and all about them. We take pictures too so they have proof to look back on from their special days/nights.

    Good luck and have fun being MOM!

  19. Flossip says:

    We just work hard at teaching our children how to live in reality. We don’t over indulge, we don’t have crazy over the top birthday parties, we don’t buy name brand clothes all the time. We do things in moderation. We have nice clothes, nice parties, nice toys– but we try to keep everything low key. I still think they have too much. I also really talk to them– what it means to be poor, why we help others, why its good to be open minded.
    I work a full time job and then have my Flossip site that takes a lot of my time. I remind myself to take time to enjoy them– and not just from 5-8 (the witching hours). Sometimes I take one or both to the Pet Store on a Saturday (they think that is a fabulous treat). Sometimes I take just my daughter for dinner. I try to do some fun and special moments that they can treasure.
    .-= Flossip´s last blog ..Tonight at the Civic Center! =-.

  20. be says:

    Wow, that’s so awesome they contacted you!! Maybe they will invite you out to the show?! 🙂

    I bet its wicked hard for Maggie to balance everything and keep stability for her little girl, but I’m sure she’s doing an amazing job.

    My hubby works a lot so we don’t always have lots of family time, but one way we do try to keep our time together special is by having one afternoon (usually Sunday) when we do a special family activity — the zoo, children’s museum, play outside, or even just reading books together. If she’s home at night then I think another important activity in keeping stability is developing a bed time routine — taking a bath, reading a book, cuddling, and tucking in at night. 🙂
    .-= be´s last blog ..Smiling Whales, Mustached Houses, and LeSportsac =-.

  21. jennifer, playgroups are no place for children says:

    It’s really hard to stay connected, it takes work and compromise. We try to eat dinner together as a family, though sometimes it’s not possible since my husband works late many evenings.. My husband and I both do the bath, story, and bed time routines with the kids. On weekends, we try to plan at least one family outing…even little things like going to the park or for a walk in the neighborhood.

    We’ve moved around a lot and have found that getting plugged into the community quickly helps tremendously (for both the kids AND myself.) We try to make new friends and invite people over to ease the “loss” of our old home.

  22. Leighann of Multi-Minding Mom says:

    I think that you need to stick to the normal routine even when away from home. If dinner is always at 6, bath at 7:30, stories and bed at 8, then you should try to stick closely to that. Children need consistency and routine because then they know what to expect. Changing things up too often can throw them off kilter.

  23. Nicole says:

    My children (6 and 2) both love forts, tents, and secret places. I’m wondering if you might be able to replicate a “room” for Ramona that stays the same wherever you are. A pop-up play tent (something like this: http://www.overstock.com/Sports-Toys/My-First-Play-House-Pop-up-Tent/2621923/product.html — though I’m sure they make higher-end versions!) could travel with you and be set up wherever you’re staying. She can put her toys and books in there, cover the floor in pillows and blankets, and use it as a kid retreat. No matter what continent you’re on or what space you’re calling home-for-now, she’d have a carved out home of her own.

  24. Eileen says:

    I’d tell her that the best way to manage this crazy working-mom lifestyle is to really accept that you cannot do it ALL. At least not ALL AT ONCE. They won’t be little kids for long, so even if you are “giving up” certain aspects of your lifestyle because you’re a mom that works, that’s how it is right now, but not forever. You can always go back and do that other stuff when the kid(s) are older, but you absolutely positively cannot get the kids to be little again. So, pick a few things to deem as Very Important and let as much of the other stuff slide so you can play, enjoy and live — and get to work on time occassionally!
    .-= Eileen´s last blog ..I

  25. Mango says:

    A home is composed the people who live in a shelter, know and love each other. I agree that we can’t have everything in life, thAt’s why it’s best to just compensate with what we have.

  26. Security Specialists says:

    Being together with the family and friend, and enjoying each and every moment to the fullest is indeed the time that will be among the unforgettable ones in the life of a man. There are sometime some sacrifices to be made and not everyone does have this blessed time together always so, there will be time when things will not be in your favor and you will have to keep going.

  27. Lib says:

    Five years ago I attended a class to beocme a bartender That was really funny but I never worked as bartender, such a pity I wanted to do something like that in my blog too, but I’m really happy to read that you made it first I don’t have bartender friends to help me to write the true

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