We invited my bachelor big brother over for chili and to watch the last half (which was an incredible half I might add…WOOT WOOT!) of the Titans/Cardinals game on Sunday.
Because nothing says are you ready for some football quite like playing dolls, Miss A came into the den clutching her bare bottomed Baby Alive doll. She’s a pack rat so I’m never sure what she’s going to drag out from her room. A crumpled Strawberry Shortcake theme Happy Meal bag? An orange yo yo? The scrap piece of paper she insists on calling her treasure map? You never know. Once I found a raisin under her bed near the wall and for a split second I feared she was hiding a rodent in her room and it had done its business.
Now Miss A has ignored this poor doll for most of the year so I was surprised when she brought out not only the doll, but the doll’s toy potty and baby bottle…this was sewious (thanks Wonder Pets). She asked me where the baby’s food was. Because I’m a mean mother I’ve never bought any more of the green baby food powder that came in the original box with Baby Alive. Once you’ve cleaned up nuclear green goop off a plastic doll’s mouth and bottom, you are SO over the amusement of fake baby food. Any way, I broke the news to her that baby didn’t have any food and she’d just have to give her a bottle of water, she got down to the business of playing mommy and getting her baby doll to “drink” while the rest of us watched the game, including Miss C who was only occasionally sucked into the excitement over playing baby doll.
Miss A proceeded to shriek for a good half hour “OHHHH SHE PEEIN’…SHE PEEIN’ MOMMY!” At one point she was so excited she ran to me with the potty and dumped the potty water (which, thankfully, was just water) on the carpet. I think she was just showing off for my brother.
If you ever want a real testosterone killer, just drag out a peeing baby doll during a football game.
As a side note, the next night the doll started speaking in Spanish. I think she’s disoriented from all the attention or maybe needs a shot of tequila after the embarrassment of the public pee marathon Sunday night.
Or maybe she just needs batteries…special batteries that can never be replaced.