After Friday’s Wendy Whiner post I realized that Miss C had a fun-filled week and waah waah waah so what if I ended up working most of it, because my girl had a fantastic fall break and that’s what really matters.
Here’s my working mother confessional, though. I did take last Thursday off, but it was for a fun event I’d been invited to some time ago that was blog related (more on that later) and hello guilt, why yes sit right down here beside me and make yourself at home. But the hubby took off that day and took the girls out for a picnic in the park and I was home by 3 so I shouldn’t have felt guilty. But I did. The hubby also had a crazy, stressful work week last week. Sigh.
One of my friends at work is a new mother and was talking to me a few weeks ago about feeling guilty and struggling with the decision to hire a nanny to watch her baby. She asked me if I ever feel guilty about parenting decisions I make since my girls are older. Uh, that would be a yes.
Tell me, if you are 40 or older, did you have some sort “Oh my Lord I’ve got to get my act together” panic attack when you turned 40? Because just when I feel I should be getting the hang of everything, I’m, well, not. As Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is another day.” Of course Scarlett also wore curtains, drove her husband nuts, and was kind of a bitch.
My hormones also seem to be on overdrive. [Whisper voice to avoid scaring the hubby]…It’s like I have PMS any given day. Now that’s some scary stuff…and just in time for Halloween!
But you know what? We truly had a wonderful weekend and I love this time of year. Miss C spent the entire night for the first time ever at a slumber party Friday (yea) and her soccer team won Saturday afternoon in a closely matched game (double yea), and it was a gloriously beautiful fall weekend (triple yea). The girls carved pumpkins with my sister Saturday and I made a big ole pot of chili. Miss C has a school field trip this week and I’m going to help out that morning and head into the office late. I hope the weather is as gorgeous as it was this weekend. Miss A has a Halloween party Friday and both girls are crazy with excitement about trick or treating.
Their happiness is contagious. So take that moody mama hormones. Scarlett O’Hara also said, “As God is my witness, I’ll never feel guilty again.” (Really, I swear she did.)
(L-R from the top) Picnic at Warner Park with Daddy, my little cowgirl roasting marshmallows at Grandma’s, pumpkin carving divas with Jack the devil dog (I tried to fix his red eyes and just ended up making him look possessed), and Miss A’s pizza crust mustache.
I’ll be 40 in 11 months. I already feel the pressure to “get it together” and “figure it out.” My 20s were the hugest disappointment. My 30s were soooooooooo much better, but I think with all the “beginnings” (career, kids, home ownership, etc.), I feel as if I’m just now hitting my stride. And I’m soooooooo not prepared!
.-= Mary@The Writer’s Block´s last blog ..Bellevue’s TJ Maxx on a Sunday Afternoon =-.
My 20s were great. I had enough “single girl” time and then got married when I was 27 after sowing my wild oats. 😉 I also was lucky to snag a really great job in PR right after graduation.
My 30s were very motherhood oriented since I had Miss C at almost 33 and then Miss A at 35.
I think the 40s can be fantastic, I just need to focus on the positive and not stress! (easier said than done…) 😉
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Fall Break, Working Mom Guilt, And Channeling Scarlett O
Something is in the air today. I am NOT PMSing (I swear…that was two weeks ago!), but I just had my wendy whiner post of the month on my blog too.
So, in a nutshell, I GET this. I need to get it together too. Learn to not sweat the small stuff. Figure out what is important and drop the rest. Why is it so dang hard, I ask you? I”m 39, so maybe the next 6 months will bring me some clarity? HA!
.-= Steph.´s last blog ..As non-whiny a post as I can make it
Oh the guilt. It is insane the amount of guilt I feel sometimes. One of my facebook “friends” had a status this weekend that he was pulling his kids in a wagon and it tumped over and his son broke his collar bone. I commented that I hope he gets better soon (of course) and that I hope he (the dad) is ok because the guilt would kill me. I think he thought I was being kind of snarky but I wasn’t. Even imagining being the cause of something like that happening to one of my kids makes me dry heave. I know accidents happen and we can’t protect them all the time, but just the thought of the guilt, not even the actual event, but the guilt, sends me into overdrive sometimes.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Giant Spider Pumpkin =-.
Midway through my 40’s (Ah still look good, though) I feel it safe to say that I really don’t think the guilt will stop, EVER! No matter what. We are moms and, in my opinion, it is a part of our anatomy, chemistry, working, at home, or whatever.
So, my new goal is to try and work that guilt out of my girls so, you know, they can focus more on hating me, instead.
Before they have children, of course 🙂
.-= Liz@thisfullhouse´s last blog ..The Future Looks Bleak, I Gotta Wear Spades! =-.
I actually loved turning 40. I finally felt like I was really a grown-up, and stopped caring so much what other people thought of me. If I felt like going to the supermarket in my sweats and no make-up, so what? Heck, I was the mother of a teenager–I could do anything!
That said, 50 was a little tougher, probably because my body was starting to feel that half-century of age! Plus I’m still the mother of a (different) teenager, and that role’s getting a little old.
.-= Bluegrass Mama´s last blog ..Caving In =-.
I have a stay-at-home husband & work 9-5. Even with that arrangement, I have working mom guilt. It’s not because he does a bad job as a SAHD, but because I feel like I’m letting the kids down by not being there for them. Haven’t hit 40 yet, but I’m already getting the I’ve got to get my act together panic attack. My biggest thing in this panic attack is providing for my kids if something happens to me.
.-= Marie´s last blog ..Mother-in-Law & Happy Kids =-.
Understand all your sharing – got news for you – mom at past 3 score and 10 is still trying to figure it all out. I sit here typing away and so pleased that in this day and age you can write about it, and make your mom smile.
Hmmm_ I think the gotta get this shit together feeling was more in the 30s for me. I will be 41 in Nov and think I have developed more of a WTF attitude- I am never gonna make everyone happy. My biggest responsibility is to my kids and hubster. So I try to do what I think is best and everyone else can go fly- which sadly has created some distance within extended family & some demanding friends with issues bc I am no longer at beck and call or as subject to buying a ticket for their guilt trips. My shit is not together, but my kids are happy and healthy. Yours are too -it is obvious by their pics.I think I am ranting and raving, sorry 🙁
Amie:
No problem you can rant and rave!
Maybe I need more of your ‘tude. 😉 I think part of my problem is I am always a people pleaser and after years of that it can kind of wear ya down.
Jamie
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Fall Break, Working Mom Guilt, And Channeling Scarlett O
I have had some weird, extra-bad PMS stuff going on lately. If this is anything like what menopause is going to be like, I’m going to need to go live on an island. By myself. Forever. Oh, and getting my life together? Haven’t even started.
.-= Brigid´s last blog ..epiphany =-.
Thanks! I think when real menopause kicks in I am going to live in the convent to protect my family from the grouchiness 🙂
I’ll be 40 in a few but my mommy guilt began when baby number one was born and I was the big 3-0. It’s not an age thing, rather, a mom thing. I actually surveyed over 750 moms nationally and they revealed that the number one thing from preventing them from returning to work was guilt. Join the club. Just embrace it, push through it and know that many of us were put on this earth to be more than mothers and wives. And, that’s okay.
I completely understand your mommy guilt!! I have it every single day and am experiencing it right now while I am typing this from my work jail cell AKA the cube! 🙂
At least on the bright side our children are healthy and happy, right? Thats what I keep trying to myself at least. LOL
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Safe Sizer Plate =-.
I think we all need a stiff drink and a Caribbean cruise…STAT! I wish I could pull an Oprah and say…let’s go!
Many people, not just those who are turning 40, have panic attacks and want to get their life together. Before another panic attack happens, many people turn for help. I can help them.
Thank you for sharing.
Barry
.-= Barry´s last blog ..Recognizing the Causes of Anxiety Disorder Attacks =-.
Wow, this was a truly high quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and actual effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and in no way seem to get something done.
This is an arlctie that makes you think “never thought of that!”