Another Saturday Night And I Ain’t Got No Abs

Tonight I Googled a sure fire abdominal strengthening exercise one of my brother’s yoga guru friends told me about last night at a dinner party.

Yes folks for the past 20 minutes I’ve been perfecting something called the Bird Dog.

Welcome to the rock star weekend of an almost 40-year-old woman, which also includes Hardy’s cabernet sauvignon from a box (it’s like an oversized juice box for adults ya’ll!)

It dawned on me today that my birthday is in less than a month and I suddenly feel very ill-prepared. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up having it all together, whatever “all” is and whatever” together” means. But honestly? I’m still pretty much the same old me.

Tonight, however, I decided to take control of one aspect of my life that gravity has turned into muscular jello.

I blame it all on that woman. You know the one. The one with the audacity to wear a bikini to the indoor pool. We took the girls swimming today at the neighborhood YMCA and she stood taunting me as she spotted her toddler on the killer whale slide: the mom in a bikini with impressively taut abs. It was all I could do to not knock her down with a wayward pool noodle. I will say she inspired me to work on my posture while I chased after Miss A.

So that’s why tonight at nearly 10 o’clock I’ve been down on the floor on all knees exercising while the dogs look at me like, “What the heck is SHE DOING?!”

It’s never too late to teach an old dog new tricks. That’s what I keep telling myself any way.

In the mean time I think I’ll have some more wine.


  1. Ashley says:

    Hi, I love your blog! Thanks for sharing your story of the workout you googled, did you know you can use to find professional search results, so that you don’t have to filter through all the unprofessional nonsense, check it out the next time your looking for a top notch professional workout! Keep up the good work on your blog too!
    .-= Ashley´s last blog =-.

  2. Musings of a Housewife says:

    Girl, there is NOTHING like going to the pool to put you in your place, now is there? I always tell myself, “It could be better, but it could be worse.” Cheers! 🙂

    Oh, and I love this – oversized juice box for adults! 🙂

  3. Leighann of Multi-Minding Mom says:

    Ha! Love the juice box analogy.

    My husband and I took the kids to the pool over the holiday weekend. I swear every single mom had on a bikini. I later asked my husband if he noticed all the rolls that were on display. A couple of things: First, I guess I should say “more power to them” and be glad that they have the self confidence to show off their not-so-perfect bodies. Second, it made me realize that maybe I shouldn’t be so ashamed of my own mom-of-two and haven’t-done-a-damn-thing-about-it body.

    But I still wish I would wake up one morning and magically have a taut stomach!
    .-= Leighann of Multi-Minding Mom´s last blog ..Your Personal Brand =-.

  4. Jamie says:

    Ya’ll I started doing the Bird Dog ab move and I think it really works (but will definitely take time and other exercise and watching what I eat to lose 10 pounds) but then I threw out my neck/shoulder yesterday morning…ha! 😉
    .-= Jamie´s last blog ..Another Saturday Night And I Ain

  5. Liza Graves says:

    I’ve been hitting Hot Yoga with the thought that I’m not getting any younger and I really want to stop reading about Lipo surgery with the keen interest I’ve had lately. Anyhow, I also just found a gem of a massage therapist who ROCKS and is about 1/3 the price of a spa. Let me know if you want his name:-)
    .-= Liza Graves´s last blog ..Hostess Gifts that travel well. =-.

  6. Janet says:

    Oh Boxowine, how I miss you. Boxo got banned from my house several years ago for several reasons…that sneaky grapey stream that appears on the fridge shelves even though you KNOW you made a point not to spill a drop…the late night guitar and/or keyboard playing that occurs when Boxo whispers to you and says “Play louder, you’re an undiscovered, natural talent – nevermind what they all say…” and numerous other “Doh, my bads.”
    On a more sober note, I have a 10 minute ab routine that will have bikini pool Mom asking you for directions to the gym…granted, I haven’t done it more than 3 times in the last 5 years…but I know it works because I ustacould do it every day.

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