Sending My Next Liquor Store Receipt To Billy Ray

I am the polar opposite of crafty but Sunday afternoon while the hubby and Miss C were out for a walk, a very whiny Miss A seemed pacified by the offer to open and play with a Hannah Montana jewelry making set that Miss C received for her birthday.

Good times with charms and chains ya’ll!


We sat down at the kitchen table and I noticed the box said this fine crafting activity was appropriate for children ages 6 and up. This was a craft that even I could handle. I would help Miss A create a jewelry masterpiece. She chose a large guitar charm and two smaller heart charms to add to a silver chain.

A half hour later and many expletives voiced in my head I had managed to break my index finger nail and get ONE FLIPPIN’ CHARM on the mother flippin’ necklace. I even rummaged around in my makeup bag for my tweezers that I use for that occasional wild hair I get on my chin. Ahem. I apparently have incredibly non-nimble fingers as I couldn’t get the tiny charms fastened on to the tiny blankety blank chain.

I finally told Miss A that mommy just couldn’t get the charms to go on the chain but I convinced her that the singular pink heart charm with Miss Cyrus’s picture on it that I’d managed to fasten to the chain was a beautiful necklace. Miss A proceeded to do the super pout and shuffled her feet as she plopped on the couch wearing her sad, sad jewelry handcrafted in lameness by mommy.

And then the damn charm FELL OFF.

And that is the end of my adventures in jewelry making mother/daughter bonding time because no child’s craft set should make you want to shoot tequila.


  1. Jennifer says:

    Are you kidding? I’m pretty sure that all child’s craft sets make you want to shoot tequila. It would be easier to just use the regular craft supplies the next time she gets the hankerin’ to be crafty.

  2. jordan says:

    children craft sets are created specifically to destroy any confidence a parent has in their ability to “craft” with their children. I suggest moving directly past go and to the witch craft square which seems to be a much easier craft, requiring less obvious results and mostly materials in the yard.

  3. Jamie says:

    Also? There is a type-o on the front of the box. Includes is spelled inlcudes.


    Where’s my shot glass?

  4. melissa says:

    i can’t bead for the life of me. and my daughter always wants me to make bracelets with her. seriously…i’d rather suck the jowls of a rabid bulldog.

  5. Babybloomr says:

    It fell off?! That would be the point I would declare a whole new craft opportunity by handing her some glue and a piece of printing paper and talking up the ancient Tennessean art of mosaic collage… Then and only then would I sneak off to do a tequila shooter. Because I am Mother of the Freakin’ Year around here.

  6. Urban Mom says:

    Would you believe me if I said that I’m laughing WITH you? This is why I sign the kids up for art class… do this stuff with someone else! I am not Crafty Mom at all.

    Good on “y’all” for giving it a shot!

  7. Children's Bedroom Furniture says:

    I’m telling you, they always end up with little pieces scattered all over the house!!!
    Embedded in the rug, the couch, etc…

    My wife is crafty with our daughter but I’m sure as hell not!!!

    How about a Martini (Grey Goose) instead!!! 🙂

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