Let’s Hear It For The Girls

I had a routine mammogram yesterday after rescheduling it and avoiding it for several months. Even though I’m just turning 40 this summer I’ve had to go in since 2007 when I found a pea-size lump in my right breast. I’ll spare you all the details because I’ve written about it quite a bit, but ultimately I had two walnut-size masses removed that were, thankfully, justย  fibrocystic tissue.

The technician who had the honor of booby smashin’ my girls was friendly and put me completely at ease. The first mammogram I had in 2007 was already a nerve-wracking experience and to add to my uneasiness, the technician had zero personality. I’m a talker by nature and I’m a nervous talker and really is there anything more awkward than another woman putting your boob in a giant vise and then photographing it?

The technician made the comment that I had cone-shaped boobs. “I bet that’s the best kind, right?” I joked with her.

“Well, I’ve seen everything under the sun. Really. You don’t want to know,” she quipped. “You know when Madonna wore that cone-shaped bra on stage? Yours are shaped like that. Larger on top and smaller on the bottom.”

I honestly think my boobs are NOTHING like that, although I am pretty happy they have held up fairly well after breastfeeding two babies. The celebrity comparison could have been unflattering.

Now if I can just get my arms to look like Madonna’s.

madonna-blonde-ambition-tour

p.s. The technician sent me on my merry way yesterday with my plastic bag containing my shirt and not cone-shaped in the least bra and said my doctor’s office would call me if they saw anything of concern. I’m fairly confident that since I have had my girls thoroughly analyzed over the past two years that I should have routine mammograms from now on. Yea!

9 comments

  1. Shari says:

    Madonna boobs! LOL I had my diagnostic mammo this morning. My g/f is the mammo tech. I (thank the Lord) am (after December) going back to the regular screening mammo… so yeah.. I am so going to ask my friend what kinda boobs that I have.. If i have cone shaped ones… I will get back to you! LOL

  2. Kel says:

    I don’t know what I would have said to that – I’m fairly sure I would have laughed outloud at the woman and then fallen to the ground in fits of continued laughter! ๐Ÿ™‚
    At least they reminded her of something infamous…just think you have ‘iconic’ boobs..no one will ever forget madonna’s cone bra! ๐Ÿ™‚
    ~K

  3. Bluegrass Mama says:

    I had my mammogram yesterday, too, along with a spot compression and ultrasound on one side where they’ve spotted cysts in the past. My tech was warm and friendly (well, except for her ice cold hands, but she apologized for those), but she didn’t comment on the shape of the material she was working with.

  4. Malia says:

    The only way I’d every have Madonna’s arms (or anything even remotely resembling cone shaped breasts) would be through extensive surgery!

    • Cycris says:

      maybe these things are toaltly in style and the hottest shoes in new york for the summer – but i think they’re absolutely hideous. that bottom pair would make it look like you wrapped your foot and ankle in black duct tape.for those blessed with very, very thin legs and ankles – you could maybe possibly conceivably pull these off. but for all the rest of us, there’s just no way that these are going to be flattering. why add all that bulk and break up a perfectly good leg line?

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