Happy Cute Babies Are Evil, Resist

The mind of the rapidly approaching 40 female is a landmine of hormones, irrational thoughts, and fleeting whimsy. Or maybe that’s just me.

Although I have absolutely zero desire to have another baby (and the hubby is right beside me), my biological clock is grabbing on to the coattails of my fertility and digging in its heels.

Maybe it’s Mother Nature’s way of making sure, really sure, you’re not going to help populate the Earth any more. Perhaps it’s the hormone version of beer goggles, that state of inebriation wherein everyone looks a thousand times more attractive after knocking back a few longnecks. Well, hormone goggles? I’ve got you covered.

I think part of the issue is that clichéd heart wrenching realization that my baby, Miss A, will be 4 soon and I can barely talk about it without crying. Last night she told me she wanted me to buy Barbie and the Diamond Castle “natkins” and Power Ranger “natkins” for her party at daycare. I mean is that the cutest thing ever? Sob. It also doesn’t help that every other woman of child-bearing age at my company has either popped out a kid or is about to pop out a kid.

Every Monday I take Miss C to dance class for her hour of tap and jazz. I usually sit in the waiting area fiddling with my iPhone or chatting with the other parents, mostly moms. One mom to three little ones has the most adorable rosey cheeked strawberry blonde headed toothless baby girl you’ve ever seen. Seriously, this baby gives me total pregnancy amnesia. I don’t even WANT to have another baby but looking at her makes my ovaries swoon from the sheer unbridled cuteness. As I was commenting on this baby’s total cuteness the other day while her mom held her on her lap and made her grin her toothless smile, the mom looked at me and asked, “Are you done?”

“Oh yes,” I  replied. “I’m done. We’ve taken certain measures and we are definitely done.”

A few minutes later the mom carried her baby over to the observation window where parents can scope out the class. Her little boy, who is 20 something months old, was playing at the small table next to me. Suddenly he looked up at  me, pointed to his bottom and half asked, proclaimed with a pacifier hanging out of his mouth: “Poo poo?”

And then I smiled at him and said, “You have a poo poo? Go see your mama! She’s over there!”

Yep, I am so done.


  1. Amy says:

    A co-worker brought in her brand new teensy tiny pink and sweet little girl and I could have eaten that baby with a spoon.

    Alas, I am done. (I think it’s worse when you didn’t decide to be done. It would have been nice to decide it.)

    Amys last blog post..Blissdom 09: Nashville Shopping

  2. CJ says:

    I watch an infant two days a week…a HIGH maintenance infant. I thought it would put the squash on my baby lust. Alas, it has now. The economy, however, has certainly put that off for a bit! Babies are like crack for hormones.

    CJs last blog post..100 Things About Me

  3. Jennifer says:

    Yeah, went through that recently. My GF was pregnant, and I oggled her belly, she let me rub it and feel the baby movin. I was sooo excited for her. Dreaming of babies, their smells, their expressions.

    She popped her out, and came over for a visit and to get my giant pile of presents for her.

    I held her. I had been DYING to hold her, to snuggle her, to look at her sweet face, play with her little hands. It didn’t live up to my fantasy. I actually wanted to give her back within a few minutes.

    I remembered the sore breasts, milk let down, spit up, mustard seed diapers, feeding every 3-4 hours, the constant need to be held and all the other crap that went with it.

    And Then I look at my second child who, on certain days I would gladly trade to a circus for a few extra hours of sleep and get over the whole “baby craving” rather fast.

  4. rachel-asouthernfairytale says:

    I am soooo done! But, there are certain babies who make my ovaries dance and quiver and my breasts ache.. and then there are the other babies that make me hug my own and say a quick prayer of thank you for my wonderful kids 😉

    HA! Love it.

  5. Jen at The Cute Kid says:

    You must not visit our site much, or I feel there would be many, many more posts like this! haha. Just think of it this way, eventually they’ll grow up and have their own babies and you swoon over them, minus all the parts that you didn’t like to begin with!

  6. Bluegrass Mama says:

    I’m starting to get baby fever a little bit, too, but with my oldest child now engaged, I figure I’m just getting ready for grandbabies!

    Bluegrass Mamas last blog post..A Fresh Perspective

  7. Anissa@Hope4Peyton says:

    I seriously had that issue at Blissdom spending the whole day around Ivy and Asher. Thankfully the minute I got in the van with my kids they began fighting and screaming at each other.

    Urge to procreate? All gone, thankyouverymuch!

  8. Lisa says:

    as I feel this baby roll and kick inside my tummy I’m trying to savor every moment of it. i know this is it for us. I know that three is all I’m meant to handle, and I know this body doesn’t want to be pregnant again. but I also know that my ovaries too will ache when I see new little ones. it can already make me sappy & i’m still prego!!!

  9. kim/hormone-colored days says:

    We are “done,” too, but I think I’m getting those goggles as well. We were out the other day and I couldn’t stop staring at a pudgy-wudgy 6 month old. She had the chubbiest little thighs. I just wanted to squeeze her. Glad the boy popped your fantasy bubble.

  10. Maria@ family and babies says:

    I have been working from home for quite some time , my daughteer was not even two years old then, now she is three. she is grown and understands that mama’s work should not be interrupted. my sister gave birth to a small baby girl last week and after seeing her cope up with baby tantrums I have realized that My daughter has really grown up a lot

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