Welcome to my end of the year review, otherwise known as “I feel the need to write something but I’m still picking artificial tree limb droppings outta my brain.”
In January I actually wrote the words, “Houston we have a poo poo” as I documented Miss A’s journey to panty-dom. I wrote about Miss C’s obsession with infomercials and my ghetto self highlight job and Miss A’s fierce loyalty to blue lipgloss. And we mustn’t forget my dog’s spanking fetish.
In February I shared my concern for Miss C’s obsession with fairies. I had the flu which I blamed on deadly thongs. Miss C attended her first roller skating party and I wrote about my WTAO technique (Wear Their Asses Out,) which was messed up by Mother Nature.
Moving on to March, strep struck our home and I bastardized Vanilla Ice lyrics. I wrote about mommy martyrs and learning to say no. I posted the most awesome pictures of Miss A jamming and marveled at how much Spring Break has changed now that I’m married with children. I also got sentimental over Miss A’s 3rd birthday with one of my favorite posts, “Were You Ever So Small?”
In April I reminisced about senior prom with the hubby in 1987 (cue the Bon Jovi.) I wrote about learning to love my nose. I had a glimpse of Miss C as a teenager and barely survived taking the girls to church by myself. My car died and Miss A locked herself in a car dealership owner’s office. Miss C’s fish, Blue Red, swam to that great fish bowl in the sky. I wrote about excessive kids’ birthday party trends. I attended Johnson & Johnson’s Camp Baby and met Ted Allen.
In May we vacationed in Navarre Beach, Florida and I launched a product review and giveaway blog called Savvy Housewife. I confessed to my husband that Miss A is Bootsy Collins’ love child. Miss A also had her first experience with a Porta Potty.
In July I went on a girls’ trip to Memphis with my best friend to celebrate our 39th birthdays. I had a mammogram and worried about one of the women in the waiting area. I considered banning Sponge Bob after the girls told me I had Squidward boobies.
The next month I wrote about the neighborhood psycho fitness mom and helicopter moms. I had a photo caption contest for a hilarious, and somewhat disgusting, photograph of a bikini clad biker granny from my hometown. I got sappy over Miss C becomining a first grader and horror of horrors, my hairdresser broke up with me.
In September I went with Miss C on her school field trip to a local pumpkin patch. Our dog Bailey turned 11 and I nearly broke my own nose while pushing Miss C in a swing.
In October Miss A found love on the daycare playground and I screwed up royally by getting the time wrong on a birthday party for one of Miss C’s friends. I attended BlissDom and met a lot of wonderful bloggers. The hubby and I attended a wedding and I drank waaaaay too much.
November was the month I was pitched slenderizing briefs for men and Miss C tried to convince me to redo her bedroom with pink leopard everything in an extreme hoochie girl bedroom makeover.
Whew…I can’t wait to see what 2009 brings!