Why You'll Never Catch Me At Home On The Phone

Our current voice mail message is a very generic computer generated voice that simply states, “Please leave a message.”

I keep thinking I’ll change it to something more specific and personal, but if I were going to be completely honest it would probably say, “Please leave a message. I’m home right now but I’m currently being sucked into a vortex of estrogen and dog hair. When the mood swings subside and I can actually find more than 2 minutes to talk on the phone at home without being interrupted by a human child or a canine child, say in about 15 years or so, I’ll call you back. Thanks. In the mean time, please feel free to send hard liquor, dog treats, and a lint brush. Oh, and the girls like fruit snacks. The last time I checked, I couldn’t convince them that doggy peanut butter treats were gourmet Barbie bonbons.”

About the author

Jamie Reeves

I'm Jamie, a 51-year-old Nashville working mom desperately seeking a few moments of Zen and zinfandel. I love to travel, find great deals, and talk with my hands. My husband and I have two daughters, three dogs, one cat and too much laundry. Email me at blondemomblog @ gmail.com.

6 comments

Amy says: 2008-10-14 at 10:26 am

heh. this is awesomely funny.

i’m with ya on the dog hair. ours is shedding like a beast right now.

see you saturday!!!!!!!!

Amys last blog post..America: Where Is Your Bottom?

feener says: 2008-10-14 at 10:33 am

hate the phone

feeners last blog post..giveaway

sweatpantsmom says: 2008-10-14 at 6:23 pm

That is awesome. Please record that! If you do, I promise to call just to hear it, regardless of the long distance charges.

Michelle says: 2008-10-14 at 6:24 pm

I have a love/hate thing with the phone. I love to catch up with friends when I have the time…the phone just never rings at midnight when I might be able to sit down and chat (if I could stay awake). And I hate to call people because I’m afraid I will be bugging them as much as my phone bugs me. “Hi – neurotic – party of one?”

Michelles last blog post..Insert title here

Liza's Eyeview says: 2008-10-15 at 9:56 am

What’s your phone number again? I want to hear that on your recorder – ha! ha!

Liza’s Eyeviews last blog post..Blog Action Day: Blog Poverty

rachel says: 2008-10-15 at 3:39 pm

ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Mine would say something along the lines of “Hi, I may or may not be home right now. Chances are I’m searching for the phone because the 2 year old Monkey has absconded with it. Please keep calling so that I can track the ringing. K, thanksbai’

🙂 LOL. Have fun Saturday

rachels last blog post..Tantalizing Tortilla Wraps: Mouthwatering Monday