Psycho Mom Syndrome And Beer Therapy

I was having a day and I’d only been home since 3 o’clock.

The witching hour came early. The girls were fighting and by 5 o’clock I found myself waiting for the hubby’s usual call to check in and discuss dinner, the usual. Everything seemed to be amplified a few notches as I had PMS, which at my house stands for Psycho Mom Syndrome.

The hubby got home from work a little early and I told him I needed to run to the grocery store for a few things. Translation, “I need to get out of this house so I can escape. And buy beer.” It’s pretty sad when you’re “only” with your kids from 3 o’clock on during the school week and your kids drive you crazy. Seriously, I don’t know how you full time SAHMs do it. Then again, PMS makes my short mama fuse even shorter.

As I was heading toward the checkout line I heard a scream. Not just any scream either ya’ll, but the scream of a child having an impressive meltdown. And then it happened again and again like clockwork every few seconds and then the screaming got closer and closer until I saw a mom pushing her son in a cart and realized he was just screaming for the hell of it like he was being tazered every 30 seconds or being forced to eat canned beets. The mom had that beleaguered zombie mom look of resigned surrender that a weary mother has when she’s grocery shopping at 5 p.m. on a Wednesday and would rather be on a Caribbean island with her own personal cabana boy, margarita fountain, endless supply of People magazines, and miracle drug that would guarantee she’d tan and never burn or wrinkle or develop cellulite or spider veins.

I gave the cashier “the look” and she gave me “the look” and I started emptying my cart as fast I could all the while thinking, “I came to the store to escape my kids, not be subjected to other kids…let me out of here, I need a beer!”

17 comments

  1. M.o.T says:

    The nicer (relatively speaking) thing about other people’s shriekers in stores is that you don’t have to pile said creatures into YOUR vehicle and take them home with you. You can escape the store, and enjoy your solitude in the car one your way home. . . which should include a circuitous detour to delay the return to YOUR rugrats, who will annoy the living daylights out of you.

    M.o.Ts last blog post..Productivity

  2. Amy says:

    This happened to me this past Sunday at Wall-Hell. Shopping kid-less and then the screams can be heard all over the 13 miles of store. I was just thankful that it wasn’t mine.

  3. feener says:

    i recall the first time we had gone out to dinner after our first kid was born, we got a sitter and went to chili’s…..i was pissed b/c of all the damn kids that around me……so much for a night without kids.

    feeners last blog post..Things coming up ….

  4. rachel says:

    I unfortunately was suffering from PMS just like yours, but I had to take the kids with me to get the beer. Can’t wait until hubs gets home. I may go hide in my room with an ice chest 🙂

    I feel bad for that mom, for all of us moms when we have those days. 🙂

    Have a better one and enjoy a nice cold one, or two 🙂 Cheers!!!

  5. Liz@thisfullhouse says:

    “Zombie Mom” probably could have used a beer and perhaps a sedative, too.

    Bottom line – grocery shopping SUCKS!

  6. tired_mommy says:

    We have all totally been there! What irks me to NO END are the looks people give you as your kid is screaming. I mean there is NOTHING I can do…..if there was dont you think I WOULD DO IT! :s So when I see another frazzled Zombie Mom, I try to smile and let her know…..I UNDERSTAND! But then…….I hate when people do that to! hmmmm

    tired_mommys last blog post..Dare I say it?!? HE was right…..

  7. Liza's Eyeview says:

    PMS = Psycho Mom Syndrome – I like that!

    I love this post – made me smile 🙂

    I am going through PMS right now. And it’s not even my kids that driving me crazy – it’s my husband!

    I don’t like the taste of beer but I am ready for some wine coolers. I think I’d go get one tonight but will make sure there’s no screaming hubby in the grocery store.

  8. Erin says:

    I had one of those days today. School was closed for the Jewish holidays. Yes, we go to a public school.

    I just poured a super size glass of wine.

Leave a Reply