Knocking Mommy off Her High Horse Since 2002

Miss C: I’m Daisy!

Miss A: I’m Minnie!

Who’s mommy?

Miss C: Goofy!

——————-

A commercial for a wrinkle cream, one of those miraculous before and after results types, comes on TV.

Miss C: “Mommy you need that!”

I do? Where do I have wrinkles?

Miss C: All over!

——————-

Finally, if you’re needing a Baptism by fire experience in humbling, just take your 5-year-old daughter with you to try on bathing suits. You’ll both end up either laughing or crying (either way, tears will be shed.)

It’s official. My boobs have fallen and they can’t get up.

I also don’t recommend choosing the dressing room next to the 90 pound tan teenage girl because you’ll be tempted to crawl under the dividing wall and strangle her when she talks about something not fitting right. I really think effective birth control for teenage girls would be to have them watch moms trying on bathing suits via hidden camera. That would pretty much stave off the desire to have sex or eat for a while.

26 comments

  1. Pam says:

    “I really think effective birth control for teenage girls would be to have them watch moms trying on bathing suits via hidden camera. That would pretty much stave off the desire to have sex or eat for a while.”
    Love it! Sometimes I just look at those teeny-bopper girls with bodies like I used to have and just think, your day will come. Oh,yes, your day will come.

    Pam’s last blog post..Sunday Funnies

  2. Lisa says:

    So true….
    I tried on 3 swimsuit tops yesterday – not fun….left depressed & came home to eat some dessert – further compounding the problem – AUGH!

    Lisa’s last blog post..Friends

  3. Amy says:

    Nothing like your own kid to make you feel old, fat and ugly. But one day they will have their own and our revenge will be complete.

  4. bill says:

    “Have fallen and they can’t get up”. What an interesting image.

    As for the changing rooms — I was once told by an acquaintance that she was out dress-hunting with her daughter, couldn’t quite get into one, and the daughter slipped into it like a seal into the water. From then on, she says, she shopped alone.

  5. Amy says:

    Ethan does this ALL the time. I have told him a couple of times that he was hurting my feelings, but it doesn’t seem to phase him. He just very matter-of-fact, “Your hair doesn’t look very good. It is too black.” (After I spent a half hour coloring it- thanks, dude)

  6. Stop Kidnapping says:

    I think you should definitely patent your unique birth control method!!! the only problem that we wouldn’t want to scare out kids so bad that they never want to have kids or eat! (there is enough of that going on already)

    keep writing!
    Jesse
    Prevent Kidnapping!

  7. Jennifer in Florida says:

    Some really funny real life jokes. Children have a way of telling the unvarnished truth. It stings a little, but you still have to find the humor in it. Thanks for sharing!

    Jennifer in Floridas last blog post..Florida Real Estate Attracts Foreign Buyers

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