The Poop Nazi

Now that Miss A is fully potty trained I’m embracing the diaper free days/Pull Up nights and I generally let her do her bathroom business on her own. I’ll usually check in on her to make sure she’s washing her hands and not just faking me out by turning on the cold water and splashing for two seconds, but on the whole I’m a hands-off parent when it comes to the wipeage, unless it’s a full throttle poop.

Of course there are moments like the other night at the pizza parlor when she waddled out of the game room with her underwear and pants down around her ankles and announced to the entire restaurant, “I GO POTTY!” and I ran over, swooped her up, and we sprinted to the ladies room before she christened the floor.

This laissez faire bathroom supervision was all well and good until last week when I realized why we were going through toilet paper at an alarming rate. Miss A was stopping up the toilet every time she had a bowel movement and then it dawned on me. Apparently she saw no problem with using up to a half a roll of toilet paper when using the restroom at home. They must really ration it at daycare or something. Next thing I know she’ll be hording it under her bed and I’ll be shouting:

“No toilet paper for you!”

Any way, we had a little talk (more like “INTERVENTION!”) and I gave a demonstration of the proper amount of toilet paper to use, lest we completely clog up our sewer line and end up spending her college fund on calling in a plumber.

There’s no sense in our diaper savings going down the toilet. Literally.

17 comments

  1. Christine says:

    Oh, I’ve been there. My youngest was a champ at using as much toilet paper as possible when he pooped. Now, just a month from his sixth birthday, he still does it every once and a while, but it’s much, much better. For a year we left the plunger just sitting next to the toilet because we had to use it at least four to five times a week.

    Christine’s last blog post..Either I

  2. motherbumper says:

    Oh I can hear it now “momma, can you spare a square? Just one more square” a la Seinfeld.

    We just started the dreaded potty training and what is it with the TP fixation? Is it really that fascinating.

    motherbumper’s last blog post..Bedazzled Fafrazzled

  3. Bridgett says:

    This. Is. My. Life. Maeve does the very same thing. But the side effect here is overflowing toilet when she flushes. She now has been banished from self-care when poop is involved. Who knows for how long.

    Bridgett’s last blog post..Photo Friday: Fragile

  4. daring one says:

    Laylee is a big fan of copious toilet paper too. It’s her favorite thing. We’ve had many-a-lesson and I’m sure we’ll have many more. She just wants to be sure to by COMPLETEY CLEAN.

    daring one’s last blog post..I

  5. Tanya says:

    Jamie!!!

    It’s Tanya from Western 🙂

    This is totally off subject, but there was a link to your site on another blog I was reading. And then I realized it was YOU!

    I had no idea you were such a blog star. That’s so cool.

    You can e-mail me at tmleach@gmail.com and we can catch up.

  6. pinks & blues girls says:

    I am still having to have that same “intervention” with my husband every so often. Less is more, people, less is more!

    I don’t think he’ll announce that he has to go potty to an entire pizza parlor anymore, though. At least I hope not. 🙂

    Jane, Pinks & Blues

  7. Michelle says:

    I agree that you need to explain about using a reasonable amount but I am laughing because I knew a woman who trained her children – #1 got 3 squares, #2 got no more than 4 squares. She was a nazi about it and we all made fun of her. Little did I know someday I would be contemplating how many squares I should tell my daughter to use. (But still…she was over the top.)

    Michelle’s last blog post..1 year ago

  8. Amy says:

    Ha! This story sounds familiar because I think Meredith (from Like Merchant Ships) was battling this issue too. You guys should talk and maybe help each other out. A poop nazi support group 😉

  9. Liza's Eyeview says:

    Oh my son G had clogged up our toilet many times so I say make sure you have a plunger ready. G is a “neat freak” in a way and so he has to clean his butt very very well 🙂

    Liza’s Eyeview’s last blog post..A Maui Blog

  10. Pam says:

    I wish Monkey Man would use all that toilet paper! He’s recently decided that he no longer wants to use the potty. Just a few minutes ago I was trying to lure him to the potty with an ice pop and – nothing. We were getting so close!

    Pam’s last blog post..At Least I

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