If She Was 15 I’d Be Searching Her Room for Drugs

Miss C announced matter-of-factly on the way home from school not long ago that she was going to Fairy Land with one of her classmates.

I am fairly well-versed in all things Disney, because Lord knows you can’t escape the long arm of Mickey. We have Mickey Mouse sliced cheese in the refrigerator and Disney Princess toothpaste and hair detangler in the bathroom. But, excuse me, Fairy Land? Fairy Land is unchartered territory.

Later I was checking e-mail while she did homework and she startled me scared the crap out of me by crying out, “Mommy help! I’m stuck! I can’t get down!,” and pretending to be stuck to the top of the end table in the den. She then proceeded to show me where her wings were growing out of her back.

The imaginative fairy chronicles have gone on for a few weeks and she and two other friends even have special fairy names. Miss C is Aman, not to be mistaken for Almond, which is what I thought she was saying until she corrected me. I guess I thought she and her fairy friends all had fairy food names, a la Strawberry Shortcake, but I also had PMS at the time and everything starts to look and sound like something good to eat during that time of the month. Apparently this week, however, her fairy wings are gone. She came home from school and solemnly announced, “Mommy, I’m not a fairy any more.” Her magic crystal is broken, or at least that’s what her head boss friend fairy told her.

Just to confirm this breaking news, while I was writing this yesterday I asked her to confirm why she is no longer a fairy.

“Because mommy, the crystal in my fairy necklace broke…REMEMBER?”

Translation: “DUH Mommy, don’t you know anything? I TOLD YOU that my magic fairy crystal broke. Whatever.”

Good grief, I’m doing well to keep up with Miss C’s real life social network at school. Keeping up with her imaginary personas and those of her friends is almost too much for me to handle.


  1. bill says:

    I have a feeling I’d enjoy talking to your daughter quite a lot. We think along similar lines. I’d be curious to know if she’s aware of a method to regenerate the crystal, ala Scotty and the dilithium version…

  2. Lisa says:

    She needs a facebook page or something so you can check her status……
    Goosey currently has a “dream spout”. “Don’t you know that everyone has a dream spout, Mom? It’s what all of your dreams come out of”…..like, duh!!!

    Lisa’s last blog post..200

  3. Rachel says:

    Don’t you know that the older they get, the dumber we get? Seriously.
    She and Princess: eerily similar little attitudes. Yes, attitude. Not personality. There’s too much of it to just be personality 🙂 LOL.
    Hope you’re doing better!!
    Sorry her fairy crystal pendant thingy got broken *snort*

    Rachel’s last blog post..No Peek Chicken

  4. Jenni says:

    I’m having flashbacks…3rd grade….magic rock on the playground…making wishes and casting spells…

    I think she’s normal. Although I don’t know how good of a judge I am!

    Jenni’s last blog post..What The Owl Says

  5. Filtering Life says:

    Oh my word, that is fantastic. This girl never ceases to amaze me with her imagination….a lost art if you ask me. Yeah, “Fairyland” has a difference connotation to me too! BUt I think it is fair to say Ms. C is not in the back yard cooking up shrooms to take her to fairyland.

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