2008’s Hot Accessory: Lysol Wipes Tucked in Every Crevice of One’s Body

Because I know everyone is on the edge of their seats, here is my woeful tale of influenza. I did test positive for the flu, like so many people out there. Apparently there is a nifty nasal swab test wherein the nurse takes the world’s longest q-tip and sticks it up your nose. This also confirmed to me that I’m in the right career. For the most part as an editor I work happily alone in my little office at work or at home, I deal with words, and not many clients, and no one needs me to shove a q-tip up their nostril.

I got a prescription for Tamiflu and when I started taking it Monday I felt sort of OK, but on Tuesday I felt absolutely horrible: Bubonic Plague on a cracker horrible, crying jag and wishing I could just sleep for 36 hours straight horrible. I could barely get out of bed. And then at some point Tuesday night I had a cathartic come to Jesus sweatathon and lost about 5 pounds in sweat through my scalp and back, which is also the exact bulk amount of Girl Scout thin mint cookies I’d eaten over the last few weeks so it all evened out and I didn’t even have to go to the gym.

Walgreens conveniently had a sale on Lysol Wipes and I have cleaned every inanimate object in this house and in my purse. Seriously, when was the last time you sterilized your cell phone or your car lock clicker? Made you think, didn’t I? So far the girls are just fine, and as I type this I am washing sheets and towels in hot water and with a good dousing of color safe bleach…again. Hubby tested negative for flu but is battling his own ear and sinus crud.

As far as the timing of all of this, I just sent four large transcripts to a client last Friday for review and this week was a slow period for me at the office. It was as if karma conceded, “OK, now would be a convenient time for you to fall apart.” I’m a planner, even when I don’t intend to be.

I’m sure you can’t tell, but I’m also one of those annoying people who finds humor in just about anything and as I was slumped down in my chair in the waiting area at the doctor’s Monday, flipping through a surprisingly current magazine, I glanced around at the other patients. To the left was an elderly woman with a walker. To the right was an elderly woman in a wheelchair, with no legs. That’s right. No legs. Seriously, it was as if God was saying, “You think you’ve got it bad? At least you’re young AND you’ve got legs.”

15 comments

  1. Rachel says:

    I’m the queen of antibacterial wipies and the like.
    Glad you’re feeling better and that your sweat-a-thon enabled you to get rid of those thin mints 🙂
    I hope you’re back to your regular wonderful feeling self soon, glad the girls haven’t caught anything yet.

    Rachel’s last blog post..Haiku Cryku Friday

  2. krissy says:

    Yep…the lady with no legs would put things in perspective!

    I will run out and buy lysol wipes because I’ve been around sick people all week! I’m begging for my family to not get it!

    So glad you feel better!!!

    krissy’s last blog post..Funny Story!

  3. Jennifer H. says:

    I’m currently in ‘bubonic plague on a cracker’ mode. Have already mini sweatathons! This flu is for the birds! I sure hope that I’ll be 100% by the end of the weekend. I’m having to miss out on so much – my precious nephew, for one, which stinks!!! Glad you’re feeling better!!!

    Hugs,
    Jennifer 🙂

    Jennifer H.’s last blog post..Name That Tune

  4. Melinda says:

    I heard the flu bug is particularly bad this year. It has something to do with the flu vaccine – I guess the scientists predicted the wrong strain and the vaccine is not particularly effective.

    You deserve a special award for getting a q-tip shoved up your nose. There are just some places where q-tips should not go.

  5. Amy says:

    We had the stomach flu from hell over the holiday seasoning and I was the sterilization queen. Invest in a floor steamer- for some reason this makes me feel better about all the germs in the house. Each time someone would kneel next to the toilet, I would power that baby up and steam up the floor 😉

    Get better, sweetie!

  6. Lisa says:

    Alright….I know so many people who have had this flu & it scares me to death. Now that Hubby’s out of the country for two weeks & I have not a soul of family around, I’m sure it will be my turn. NO!

    Lisa’s last blog post..A chat with Goosey

  7. Jennifer says:

    I think some of your germs got through the computer. I was in bed practically all day eysterday from 5pm the day before. I’m extremely stuffed up and my back that has been in pain for about 2 weeks isn’t helping much. Thanks for the reminder on disinfecting the cell phone, something I never do, but will now along with my computer keyboard…lol!

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Mommy Necklace Winner…

  8. Maria Terry says:

    There is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS someone that we can point to and say we are better off so I join you in understanding and acknowledging that God does speak to us and at the same time give up hope if we just look for it.

    Maria Terrys last blog post..Cheap Wheelchairs Online

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