My Little Pony, My Hellish Pony

If you’re in an unusually jovial mood one cold, Friday afternoon after school and you let your 5-year-old daughter select not one, but three, DVDs at your friendly neighborhood Hollywood Video for a five-night rental because the forecast looks glum for the duration, stop yourself and for the love of all that is good and holy do not come home with this:

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Otherwise, be prepared to have an unexplainable urge to gouge your eyeballs out until this horrific example of animated nightmarishness has been returned to the movie rental place where some other poor unsuspecting parent sucker agrees to pluck it down from the shelf for their child. For all of you high-brow intellectual parents out there who would never rent a My Little Pony DVD, just imagine getting really drunk and then trapped inside one of those scam crane arcade machines that taunt you with the challenge of winning a cheap stuffed animal while listening to circus music full blast. You know if you were only six inches tall. Or something like that.

Ironically the My Little Pony line of toys are among Miss C’s favorites and I don’t mind the general brigade of pastel ponies at all because coming up with all sorts of Ponyland melodramas occupies her for quite some time. Just don’t play the My Little Pony theme song more than once or I might have to hurt you.

The only other animated series that I can think holds a stinky candle to this is the Hello Kitty series. Seriously, one round with either the My Little Pony or Hello Kitty animated idiocy and you’ll be kissing Dora’s feet. Vive la Dora!

My nominees for surprisingly good animated kid movies of the girly persuasion, besides Disney, (obviously Disney is doing OK without any endorsements from me and we own several classic Disney movies), goes to the Barbie movies. Pixar caliber they are most definitely not, but I’ll take Barbie dancing to Swan Lake over annoying pastel flying ponies and horrific plot lines any day. I’m a sucker for classical music and the classic boy meets girl, girl meets boy, girl must overcome scary scumbag witchy woman and flex her girl power muscles story line any day.

Anyone else care to nominate the worst kid DVDs?

20 comments

  1. Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants says:

    On the boys’ Mickey Mouse’s Christmas there is an ad for the Christmas My Little Pony. I must say that it make my ears bleed.

    The ponies crying, whining and random melodrama in 60 seconds leaves the boys and I rushing to skip the trailer.

    Worst movie we have? Dora. Me No Gusta Dora.

    Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy & The Cast of Lost Perform The Can-Can!

  2. Jacki says:

    I personally do not mind the modern MLP DVD’s, but the ones from the 80’s. ANNOYING!

    The worst kids DVD that I will not let Emma watch has got to be….anything from Nickelodian or The Cartoon Network.

    Jacki’s last blog post..Mini-Vacation

  3. Blonde Mom says:

    Jacki:

    I couldn’t find (or didn’t want to) find a date on this DVD, but it’s from the “entire first season.” It looks like it’s from the 90s, not 80s, though.

    Any way, just avoid the old MLPs at all costs people. You’ll thank me. 😉

  4. Lisa says:

    I don’t really like the Care Bear ones either. I’m pretty partial to the Gods at Disney BUT my girls L-O-V-E LOVE the Signing Time videos, and although the songs often get stuck in my head, I feel like they’re educational for both girls & really fun to boot! Check them out – http://www.signingtime.com It’s coming to PBS as well and my girls would pick watching Signing Time over anything 🙂

    Lisa’s last blog post..Sleep??? What’s that?

  5. Deb - Mom of 3 Girls says:

    Oh yes, I’ll agree about the My Little Pony (although the newer ones aren’t nearly as bad) and Hello Kitty – and I’d add Care Bears to the list. Not necessarily the newer ones, but the older, 80’s versions – they’re horrible!

    We like Strawberry Shortcake (the newer ones), Backyardigans, and my girls are just starting to get into the Barbie DVDs but my 5-year-old is addicted to the Island Princess one, so I think I see more Barbie in our future… 🙂

    Deb – Mom of 3 Girls’s last blog post..Giveaway Carnival Day #2 – Exercise videos

  6. Blonde Mom says:

    Mayberry:

    I actually won a Care Bears DVD last year on a blog and put it in Miss C’s stocking.

    Big mistake.

    I think it will become mysteriously “lost.” 😉

  7. liz brabson says:

    I have never understood the appeal of Care Bears or My Little Pony, not even when I was young enough to play with the originals! I can only pray they will be out by the time my daughter is old enough to be interested in them.

    liz brabson’s last blog post..Did I Read That Correctly?

  8. Jennifer says:

    Ok I’m going to be odd man out…I don’t mind My Little Pony, Barbie, or CareBears and I actually like singing the CareBears song myself, 5,4,3,2,1…there I admit it…lol! I guess I’m been so brain washed by these shows from watching them a million times that I too sing them.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Bloggy Giveaways Carnival

  9. youarekiddingme says:

    My almost 3 year-old loves the Thomas the Tank Engine DVDs. His 30-something parents HATE these DVDs. They make me want to throw myself in front of Thomas, James, Gordon, Emily – whoever wants to do the pleasure. But the actual trains are fun and keep him amused for hours – I mean, chunks of minutes (he is only 2 1/2 with the attention span of a mature gnat).

    youarekiddingme’s last blog post..Would You Like Some Cheese with that Bologna Beating?

  10. Jenni says:

    I hate Strawberry Shortcake. The pony is so whiny.

    But, by far, the worst animated movies ever have to be The Land Before Time movies. The first one is decent, but they just got worse and worse and worse. And there are like twenty-five of them.

    Grrrrr.

    Jenni’s last blog post..What, Exactly, Is The Promise?

  11. Amy says:

    We had a DVD that came with a Little People set. C loved it and it about drove me nuts. It has gotten lost, not on purpose, but I ain’t goin’ lookin’ for it!!! HA!

  12. Holly Schwendiman says:

    I put my foot down on the Little Pony DVD and wouldn’t let my daughter bring it home. However, I eased up with a Season of Full House and have regretted it ever since. My husband forwarded me the funniest poster found on a mass transit vehicle of a picture with the three guys covered by a huge red circle with a cross through it as a No Zone. I laughed my butt off knowing someone else shares my pain.

    Hugs,
    Holly

  13. Loralee says:

    What, you couldn’t find any old copies of “JEM” Corporate girl by day, rock star by night?

    Jem! She’s truly outrageous, she’s truly, truly, truly outrageous.

    Loralee’s last blog post..Doing my part to pass on the ?Dork Torch? to future generations

  14. HRH says:

    Obviously no one has been subjected to multiple viewings of multiple episodes of “Hard Hat Harry”. What is wrong with Hard Hat Harry? First, he is a GENIE…wha? Second, his over-acting makes the Wiggles work look subtle. Third, he is soooo weird in a “keep away from children” kinda way. It is all very, very disturbing.

    HRH’s last blog post..3 sick monkeys and a mommy in bed…

  15. Anne says:

    one of the carebear movies is the absolute worst ever. The one that was made 20 years ago that they keep re-releasing as if it were breand new. Gross. and tedious. and so boring. Yes, I hate carebears.

    Anne’s last blog post..sleeping with my eyes open.

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