Hormonal Warfare at its Finest

No sooner were the tumbleweeds of red and green tissue paper and tattered toy boxes carted to the curb for garbage pick up day did Miss C began planning her 6th birthday party.

That’s fine and all but her birthday…

is in June.

Part of this is just getting swept up in the kindergarten party circuit and all the exciting promise of buttercream icing and presents and balloons. Since fall she’s attended a princess makeover party, a sleepover that went bust and ended at 10 p.m. when little girls began to weep and clutch their sleeping bags, a bounce center party, and a gymnastics party. Next month she’s going to her very first roller skating party. She’s been swayed by each gala event and I ‘ve tried to reel her gently back down to earth by suggesting perhaps a nice swim party at the Y.

No dice.

Not only does she want to invite her entire class, which I’m actually fine with, but the guest list keeps expanding to include friends from her “old school” (daycare). Her current dream birthday party theme is a Barbie Island Princess backyard luau. Also, somehow a swimming pool, which we do not have, and a stage, which we also do not have, figure into this event. Miss C’s solution to everything is “some builders can build it mommy!”

Yeah I’ll get right on that. Anyone have Colin Cowie’s cell phone number?

Miss C and I often butt hormones, and lately she’s started using the line, “Mommy, you’re not invited to my birthday party!” Unfortunately one of her classmates used that little gem of a comeback, and it’s all the rage now at our house. Thanks a freaking lot kid.

I told the hubby last night that Miss C was mad at me briefly over some especially traumatic after school inhumanity, my refusal to let her eat a PopTart or play online computer games until she did her homework, and that she shot me that “Mommy you’re not invited to my birthday party!” line.

I suppose I had heard that just one too many times and I told the hubby that I very maturely responded, “Well, mommy is your birthday planner so I guess you won’t be able to have a birthday party if I’m not there.”

Miss C thought about that and got quiet.

Then I sat down on the floor and started playing Littlest Pet Shop with her and all was well.

Hubby’s comment?

“Damn that was bitchy.”



  1. Mrs. M says:

    girlfriend needed to hear that to bring her back down to earth. even if the other kids at school are snots–you don’t have to let your kid be too!

    i think it was a good comeback. 🙂

  2. Mrs. Flinger says:

    That’s not unreasonable! Mr. Flinger said something to me about a comeback I said to LB. “My child and her mother’s relationship” with a sign and tsktsk after it or something like that.

    Men. Sigh TSKTSK

    Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Increasing your reader

  3. Bluegrass Mama says:

    Actually, I think your response to Ms. C was right on! Train her now, because before you know it, you’ll be planning her 13th birthday party. Oh, wait. I punted that one to my hubby. He, our son and five middle school girls at the pizza place tomorrow while I do something all by my lonesome. Because–you guessed it–I’m not invited to her birthday party.

    Bluegrass Mama’s last blog post..Milestone

  4. Filtering Life says:

    OH my….is this what I have to look forward to? Power struggles at 6 years old and specific demands on b-day parties. I am simply not ready for that!

  5. Kathryn says:

    I don’t think that was bitchy at all. Kids need to know that sometimes the things they say can hurt someone.
    My boys say stuff like that to me too. I think it really has to do with them just wanting to be able to do WHATEVER they want, and that will only happen if mom isn’t there. I try not to take it personally, but still. Ouch. I do remind them that it hurts my feelings, and it has ceased. For now.

    Kathryn’s last blog post..Inspirational Woman

  6. Rachel says:

    I think your comment was absolutely right on. Oh the things we have to look forward to. The insanity of some of these kids’ parties blows my mind and our little sponges soak it right up, along with every obnoxious one liner uttered by their peers. Darn it!!
    Good luck and thanks for the giggle 🙂

    Rachel’s last blog post..Labeling love.

  7. Blonde Mom says:

    The party detail requests didn’t start until she really started going to a lot of parties last year at 5. We always did at home parties until her 4th birthday.

    Oh, the peer pressure!

    We were at Publix this evening and she wanted to look at their cake catalog.

    I’m sure she’ll change her mind a million times between now and June. 😉

  8. Jennifer says:


    Our eldest children are twins I swear. She has the hands on the hips “moooothhhheeerrr” attitude going on. And everything is princess…princess….princess..

    I’m about thisclose to banning all princess crap in my house.

  9. Jacki says:

    This had me laughing. 🙂 My daughter and I butt heads a lot already, and she’s 3! And she is planning not one but TWO birthday parties this year. She told me she wants two. She must watch too much Access Hollywood.

    Jacki’s last blog post..This makes me sad

  10. Blonde Mom says:

    Jacki, your Access Hollywood comment cracks me up.

    My hubby is very laid back, but I joke with him about us having to either move to a bigger house or add on to our house by the time the girls are teenagers because the PMS factor is going to be frightening! 😉

  11. Amy says:

    We have our Kindergarten party next week. Luckily, even though I suggested it, my 5 almost 6 year old declined on inviting the whole class. We have been able to keep the guest list to a cool 17 and we are going to do it at McDonalds, the only indoor child friendly place that doesn’t require me to clean it up, in our little town. Boys are SO much easier. And I daily hear the “you’re not invited to my party” line. If that was only the worse they would ever have to face, I would be content. I also have to do a 14 year old party but he decided he wants dad to take him and drive Indy type cars, just the two of them. It will cost closely the same but doesn’t require much from me other than money. Yay!

  12. Loralee says:

    I think that your comments (And the other comments here) are totally dead on.

    Even though girls are more difficult in some ways than boys, I still want one. Sigh…

    Loralee’s last blog post..Still not there!

  13. Jennifer says:

    So I see I’m not the only one with a Diva in their house. Since my girls were about 18 months they’ve been slamming their bedroom doors. I think that’s why we stopped at 2 kids becuase the thought of having another girl with hormones is just too terrifing…lol!

    I haven’t been un-invited to their b’day parties yet, but I’m sure that’s only to come. I usually get the I don’t love you anymore comment instead.

    Good luck with the party planning!

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Tip of the Week

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