Have Yourself a Skanky Little Christmas

Whenever I see my mother I come home with a little bag of goodies: Sunday coupons, magazines, and any other items she thinks might be of interest to me or the girls. One of her latest goody bags included a loaf of homemade pumpkin bread and the Target Christmas toy catalog, henceforth known as the Bible of Overpriced Plastic Stuff.

Now I am not a toy snob. The girls are currently enamored with their Shrek III donkey Happy Meals toys (thank God these don’t audibly burp like the last round of Shrek toys). Although I think nice wooden, classic toys are lovely, really I do, both Miss C and Miss A have their fair share of cheap plastic annoying things that they play with and love. A few weeks ago we were at the Cracker Barrel celebrating the close of Miss C’s fall soccer season and we were browsing the toys while we waited for a table. I showed Miss C an old fashioned sock monkey doll, thinking she might find its handcrafted sweetness irresistible, and she practically ran screaming to the princess dress up section.

Since the Bible of Overpriced Plastic Stuff arrived at our home, Miss C has toted it around until its once glossy color pages are wrinkled and dog-eared. She holds it close to her chest, closes her eyes, and silently mouths her deepest desires to Santa. She’s even fallen asleep with it at bedtime. The cover has torn off and she’s diligently circled the toys she likes best with crayon.

We have always been fairly conservative with the number of presents the girls find on Christmas morning, but I’m painfully aware that at age 5, Miss C’s innocent years of Christmas magic and wonder will slowly start winding down. I want this to be her biggest Christmas ever, not necessarily in quantity, but in quality or wow factor, but I also have told her that Santa can’t bring everything on her wish list. And that’s not what Christmas is about, any way.

I would love for Miss C to wish for a gorgeous handcrafted wooden dollhouse that we could some day pass on to her children, but she’s obsessed with a Slutz, I mean Bratz Kidz, ice cream making snow lodge toy. I’m not familiar with this line of toys, but I think they are a kinder, gentler, less skanked out version of the regular Bratz. We were at Target last weekend buying a birthday present and Miss C made a bee line toward the doll aisle, not to be confused with a collagen lip implant display, only to find another little girl drooling over the ice cream maker. The other mother and I exchanged knowing glances of resignation.

Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake are still big with Miss C, but the big lipped, dark-eyed allure of the Bratz is beckoning. That and the fact that the toy bed that comes with the ice cream maker lodge doubles as a candy sprinkles holder, something I often fantasize about when dreaming of a master suite makeover, is a combination that Miss C cannot resist. My own mother never succumbed to my pleas for an Easy Bake Oven, and I’ve never gotten over it.


  1. Amy says:

    I think I’m glad we’re doing monster trucks and sharks this time instead of princesses and Slutz (that’s great BTW – just what they are too!). No Easy Bake Oven? Oh you poor thing!

    Amy’s last blog post..Bad Blogger, Bad, Bad!

  2. Sarah Kimmel says:

    AMEN! I have vowed never to have those lame dolls in my home (I haven’t really thought about the fact that someday she might actually WANT one). It’s sad that even Barbie has joined in the sluttening! What the heck is WRONG with toy makers??

    Sarah Kimmel’s last blog post..Clean As You Go

  3. Holly Schwendiman says:

    Don’t get me started on the Bratz dolls! But I know just what you mean about keeping it magical and never forgetting those few things we really wanted as kids and were disappointed about. My little guy is 5 this year and his energy and excitement are contagious! I want his to be totally magical too. Oh and e-mail me sometime about my wooden dollhouse last year…..


  4. Bluegrass Mama says:

    Thank goodness my daughter’s Bratz phase was short-lived. She did like the Barbie My Scene dolls awhile longer, but they didn’t seem quite as slutty to me somehow.

    I never had an Easy Bake Oven, either. So I bought my daughter one at a consignment sale. They’re not all they’re cracked up to me. Come to think of it, I bought my son the Mousetrap game my mother wouldn’t buy. I never realized how smart that woman really was!

    Bluegrass Mama’s last blog post..My First Youtube Link

  5. Amy says:

    I am so thankful that my lovely daughter has never wanted a Bratz. They are horrible, but I am with ya on this does seem like a definite tone down from some Bratz products. I also was never allowed the Easy Bake oven and I bought my kids one and they could have cared less. My niece, who is almost 5, has her circled Sears wishbook and she literally circled every toy in it. I keep these things far away from my kids.

  6. Jynell says:

    When the Bratz were just starting to come out my girls were too young to care. But, I’d point them out & say things like “eww look at those yucky dolls, they sure don’t dress very nice” Now that they’re at the age to be interested, they aren’t! I’ve even overheard them talking to each other in the toy aisle about how “nice girls should dress that way & how yucky those dolls look”!! IMO, I wouldn’t cave to even the Bratz kids. It’s just going to lead her to wanting the full blown Slutz (love that!!) down the road. You seem lovely & intelligent- even without the Easy Bake Oven! 😀

  7. Bridgett says:

    Be strong! Resist the Bratz! My older daughter actually got a Bratz doll from one of her extra grandmas (other older ladies in our life). It arrived in the mail with some other things–and when she opened it, she looked at me with that “oh, crap” look in her eye. And Itold her she couldn’t keep it, but I’d replace it with something else. There are some things that have been absolutes in my house (and McDonald’s toys are on the floor, Polly Pocket shoes are in the vacuum, and we even have a collection of webkinz). I just refused to budge, like Jynell, and Sophia knows my line in the sand.

    Bridgett’s last blog post..365: Oscar Sings I Hate Christmas

  8. Jill says:

    My daughter is almost 5, she looked through the Target ad this year and saw the Bratz dolls too. So, I decided to explain to her that they are just not very modest like little ladies and princesses are and plus they have such weird shaped heads and eyes. To which she agreed. Now every time a commercial comes on TV for it, she’ll say, “Yucky dolls”. SO, hopefully it will last through the years that these Bratz dolls try to override the doll aisles.
    AS for the Easy Bake Oven…I didn’t get one and I survived. The key would be to explain why the bratz thing just isn’t a good idea and then find something that will really wow her!

    Jill’s last blog post..The SUPER Bug

  9. Jill says:

    You know, it just occurred to me…you could sit with her and ask her what about that toy she likes so much. Maybe there is an alternative that would meet that desire for her.

    Jill’s last blog post..The SUPER Bug

  10. Blonde Mom says:


    I think the appeal is the ice cream making factor. Actually I have to admit if I was 5 years old I’d want one too. The TV commercial is appealing and I now wish I could ban TV from Thanksgiving to Christmas to avoid all the “I WANT THAT MOMMY!”

    As far as the Bratz line the “Kidz” are not “bad,” but then again they are just one step away from the skanky ones. 😉

    I may have to look around for a simple ice cream maker or even for a snowcone maker although that really sounds unappealing to me. Lots of sugar syrup in the house….hmmm.

    My dad got me a donut maker from Sears when I was 8 and I loved that thing but I think my mother secretly hated it. 😉


  11. lisel stone says:

    I am dreading the day that my now 15 month old daughter discovers Bratz and all the other smutty clothes and acessories that seem to be so in with the preteen crowd.
    I always wanted an Easybake oven but never got one. My mom just kept telling me we had a real oven and she wasn’t going to go buy another one.
    We got my daughter a Radio Flyer Inchworm. Anyone remember those? I am SOOOOO excited.

    lisel stone’s last blog post..Warning: Post of Substance!

  12. Blonde Mom says:

    The day McDonald’s has Bratz Happy Meal Toys…we are screwed. 😉

    The ice cream maker/snow lodge is very cute but it would be awesome if you could buy it without the dolls and then add your own dolls.

    Yeah…like they’re going to do that.

  13. Jacki says:

    Are our moms related?? My mother does the EXACT same thing….I am always leaving her house with a plastic grocery bag filled with magazines, coupons and maybe some food items. 🙂

    Jacki’s last blog post..EmmaCam

  14. christmastreemegamall.com says:

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