Like a Brazen Hussy, My Boob Said Yes

Yesterday morning I had a date with a boob man.

I had a surgical biopsy on my right breast, which really turned out to be more of a lumpectomy as the surgeon removed two walnut-size masses that he said were severe fibrocystic disease. I’ll go back December 10 for the definitive lab results, but I feel pretty confident that I am OK. I’m sure I’d ever have a “normal” mammogram until the fibrocystic area in question was taken out, so I’m glad to have almost all of this behind me and out of me. I keep reminding myself to be thankful the radiologists were proactive in suggesting I go ahead and have surgery.

When they started prepping me the nurse wrote in big black letters the word “yes” on my right boob. You know, just in case they couldn’t figure that out from my charts. I also got a kick of eavesdropping on the little old Southern old lady next door in the prep area. When the anesthesiologist asked her if she’d ever had surgery she replied, “Which one? I can tell you about the time I swallered a corsage pin.”

This was an outpatient procedure and yesterday evening the girls were yes ma’aming and no ma’aming me and I love you mommying me and, if that wasn’t enough to throughly kiss this mama’s booty and make me envision the girls bringing me Bon Bons and pushing me around in a wheelchair when I’m 90, Miss A willingly peed in the potty all by herself! The hubby has also been most awesome and my mother watched Miss C yesterday because she was running a fever and could not go to school. We just won’t talk about the fact that I gave her cold and cough medicine on an empty stomach and not once, but twice, on the way to my mom’s the hubby had to stop the car so Miss C could throw up. The hubby and I had to laugh when a nurse asked if we had had a pleasant drive in to the hospital. Actually by then I considered just checking myself in to the hospital so I could get a little peace and quiet, not to mention room service.

I felt pretty out of it yesterday and tried to get up around 5 while the hubby was out with the girls and got knocked down with a wave of major nausea, due to the anesthesia I presume. I am feeling good today, though, just sore.

Between now and my follow up appointment I’ll keep busy to keep my mind off my boob– probably Christmas shopping (I got matched up with the awesome Miss Debunot herself in her Christmas gift exchange) and consuming copious amounts of chocolate and spiked eggnog. Tonight the girls are staying with my inlaws so hubby and I can have a little break.

I kind of wish my surgeon could have helped make things, I don’t know, perkier, while he was in there. Otherwise I think Santa will be filling mama’s stocking with Wonderbras.


  1. Rachel says:

    Wow. I was wondering where you were. I hope all is well and that this relieves you of your problems. I’m not sure whether to tell you I’m sorry or LOL at the cuteness of the girls…
    Congrats on Miss A peeing in the potty again, willingly!
    Peace and Quiet… what’s that?
    Well, big hugs… have fun with the shopping and wonderbras are on my stocking list too.
    Because as well know.. after kids… our theme song is…

    “Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie ’em in a knot, can you tie ’em in a bow? Can you throw em ‘oer your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your boobs. hang. low.”
    or the ever popular.
    Yep, those 34 C’s are now 34 longs.
    Big hugs and smiles to ya!

  2. Renee says:

    Glad to hear you’re okay, Jamie. The whole boob thing always throws me for a loop. My mom had breast cancer and had a mastectomy when she was just 39, so it’s on my mind a lot. You’d think I’d be super proactive in self exams and such, but sometimes the whole thought of finding something scares me off. Crazy, I know, but that’s how I am. I do get my yearly mammograms and have had only one come back ‘abnormal’ and it turned out to be nothing.
    I’m glad too that your doctor suggested the lumpectomy, better safe than sorry, huh? I’m sure everything is just fine and I’ll keep you in my prayers.
    I got my printer yesterday and I love it! Thanks again for the opportunity to win it. I’m so grateful.

  3. Amy says:

    I’m glad you’re feeling OK. It’s good that they found the little walnuts and got them out.

    Have fun shopping!

  4. Colleen says:

    Sounds like it went well. I’m so glad! I had a breast ultrasound yesterday near the site of my last surgical breast biopsy and the tech (and radiologist) both thought it looked like a harmless area of scar tissue probably left over from that surgery. I’m hoping the final test results, which I’ll get next week, concur. I wasn’t too terribly scared, but since I’m about to birth this baby and start nursing I didn’t need or want any crazy breast complications! Our silly, scary boobs. They need to give us a break in 2008. 🙂

    Have a wonderful time with your hubby tonight. You deserve it!

  5. Bridgett says:

    I like how masses, tumors, and cysts are always compared to such tangible edible objects. Walnut-sized cyst. Tumor the size of a grapefruit. A small mass about the size of a pea. I have a uterine fibroid that my gyn told me was about the size of a potato, and I asked her, “baking or fingerling?” She held up her fist for comparison. “Then why not say it’s about the size of your fist?” What’s with the food comparisons?

  6. Richie Ann says:

    I’m so glad things went well. Try not to stress yourself out over the holidays. As for bras, why not splurge on the new Braleluia (I don’t know how to spell that made up word) over at It eliminates back fat and makes a rack look extra delicious even if you’re not feeling that way.

  7. Blonde Mom says:

    Thanks ya’ll.

    As my husband says, “Boobs are nothing but trouble!” That and I had a nutty boob. 😉

  8. Greta Adams says:

    my prayers are with you!!! happy shopping and don’t over do it..on the shopping that is…over doing it on spiked eggnog..well…that is acceptable…LOL

  9. Holly Schwendiman says:

    Glad to hear you survived and are getting pampered. I was a new mom with a 3 month old when I had mine done and that Verset(sp?) and knock-out time were heaven sent. 🙂 I missed out on the southern humor though – l u c k y. LOL


  10. Ginger says:

    Whew! I am so glad you’re doing alright. You have certainly kept your sense of humor intact…that post title is priceless! 🙂

    You’re in my prayers, and I am believing for a good report on the 10th.

  11. Jennifer says:

    Congrats on the boobage removal. did you at least hint that you’d like them taken in a notch or two?

    You know what I’ve found? Since I’ve started working out, with weights, my boobs are perkier. Try it!

  12. Rick says:

    I’m glad that it went well too. We just went to the doctor yesterday for some final touches on my wife’s reconstruction – after two 1/2 years of dealing with breast cancer. I can relate to whatever concerns you might be having.

    I did a lot of doodling while my wife was getting treatments. My January 29th post is one example of that. I use my art to express myself.

  13. Anne says:

    Wow Jamie. So glad this has worked out for you. I was worried way back when you were having the odd mammogram stuff. At least they can ID the problem and fix it, you know? I’m raising you up.

Leave a Reply