Because some conversations with a 5-year-old are just too comical to not share.
Me: “Here’s your juice darlin’.”
Miss C: “Thank you my queen.”
Me: “Oh, queen…I like that!”
Miss C: “Mommy, you know what? Mommies are queens, daddies are princes and kids are…kids are children!”
Later that evening Miss C disappears and my mommy senses are tingling, telling me she is probably in the bathroom on the toilet and in need of assistance. I am right.
Me: “Miss C are you OK?”
Miss C: “Yeah mommy. It’s just very hard. Ugh.”
She is straining so hard she acts like she’s giving birth on the potty.
Me: “Do you need help? Do you have diarrhea?”
Miss C: “No, no, it’s just taking a long time.”
(Note to self: too much cheese!)
Me: “OK, I’ll be right out here if you need help.”
Miss C: (getting up from the toilet): “Mommy I’m finished. I made magic!
Miss C: “Yea, it’s magic when it takes a long time like that.”
Me: “Your poop is magic?”
Miss C: “Yep!”
And in other poop-related news, Miss A pooped in the potty last week at home after an arduous process that involved repeated trips to the bathroom.
I repeat. She pooped in the potty.
Dear Lord my life has come down to this…color commentary on HUMAN FECES.
Hey, at least I’m not posting photographic evidence.