Censoring My Inner Crotchety Old Lady

I have a marketing meeting every Monday and I’m the only mother at the table.

One of my co-workers is getting married and was talking about how she was relieved that her formal family bridal showers were over with and that it would be nice to have all the family co-mingling over with.

I just had to pipe in…

“Wait until you have kids!”

Oh dear Lord what has become of me?

At least I didn’t do any finger wagging.


I don’t want to be the working mother killjoy of the office but sometimes I look at the glass half empty. It’s not that it is impossible to live a charmed, balance life, and I have a fairly flexible job, but I don’t think anyone can prepare you for the sometimes craziness of marriage and having kids and working.

But then there are days when I am fully in my game, I get to work early, I get projects finished before deadline, I manage to cook dinner without burning anything and I get a couple of loads of laundry done and actually folded and put away and the girls go to bed by 8:30.

And then there are days, like Monday, when my inner crotchety old lady tries to come out. I have noticed that I’ve started bringing home jelly packets in my purse from the Cracker Barrel and that can’t be good.


  1. malia says:

    “I have noticed that I’ve started bringing home jelly packets in my purse from the Cracker Barrell and that can’t be good.”

    CB’s okay, since that is actually really good jelly, call me if you start doing it with IHOP or Hardees, etc!


  2. Holly Schwendiman says:

    ROFL – I might relate a little too well. I catch myself wanting to use my finger and spit to clean off a face, tell others they have no clue if they haven’t got kids and will do grocery shopping late at night just to avoid having the kids with me! I haven’t started taking jelly packets, but the dashboard is CHUCK FULL of napkins which I always grab a few extra of when we’re out eating. *sigh*


  3. Richie Ann says:

    Here’s a good one: Last week I attended a rather formal luncheon for the Women’s Foundation of Colorado. As we were leaving there was a rather loud tinkle as something hit the floor. A lady at the next table had stolen the silverware (!!!) and a fork dropped out of her purse. She just kept walking like it wasn’t her. My coworkers and I were stunned. Jelly is no big deal but silverware….

  4. Bluegrass Mama says:

    Forget the jelly at CB–go for those itty bitty syrup bottles! I was ROFL at that last line, too.

  5. Jill says:

    Splenda, ketchup, straws and napkins…. I am guilty. Can’t say that I’ve ever done jelly, but would not hesitate for one second if the need arose. This is hilarious!

  6. Renee says:

    I do it too. What’s wrong with that? I mean, we’re just being practical and thifty, right? Can I get a ‘RIGHT’?!

  7. Ginger says:

    omg, that is hilarious! I take the jelly and the syrup home! yikes…

    I also swore I would never use my own spit to clean my child’s face…that promise went down the drain, too…

  8. Erin says:

    you remind me of my boss, who is going on maternity leave for her 3rd baby with like 7 years gap from the youngest, and all boys! And she is my great reminder of why I am still on the pill!

  9. mamatulip says:

    You and Dave would get along great — his life’s mission, I swear, is to bring home as many packets of Sweet n’ Lo, sugar, sweet n’ sour sauce and ketchup as he can.

  10. Anne says:

    I am overwhelmed by Ann’s comment about the silverware pilferer. jelly packets I can understand but a fork? weird.

  11. Selfmademom says:

    I totally hear ya. I’m so crotchety today. Especially with my 32 week preggo friend who is complaining how tired she is. I mean, wait until she has that baby!!

  12. Blonde Mom says:

    OK, so the truth is the days I am “fully in my game” are few…very few…and far between. Today, for example, I forgot to put on deodorant. And also, the girls really need a bath.

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