But I Can Make a Mean Bowl of Cereal

The hubby cooks a lot for someone who runs his own business and works something like 200 hours a week. He loves to concoct in the kitchen, whereas I’m fine with popping a pizza in the oven and pouring some bag salad into bowls. Last week when I had strep throat I totally used it as an excuse to not do anything around the house didn’t cook for several days.

By the weekend I was feeling fine and I made a big grocery run on Friday and I cooked dinner Friday and Saturday. On Saturday I grilled hamburgers and I put the hubby in charge of the french fries. OK, so I guess technically I roped him into cooking a side item. See? It’s an illness. I just don’t have the cooking juju.

Me: “I smell something burning. I think it’s the french fries. Can you check them?”

Hubby: “No, they’re fine. Have you flipped the burgers yet?”


Me (thinking to myself as I ran out to the grill): “Oh sh*t.”

On Sunday morning I decided to surprise the hubby by taking charge of a big breakfast with scrambled eggs, biscuits, and sausage. I got everything ready, although I did solicit his help in opening the canned biscuits because I have a freakish phobia that a can of biscuits will explode in my face as I am opening it. Yes, I have hungryjackaphobia.

I managed to overcook the scrambled eggs and undercook the sausage, of which the hubby took two large bites before realizing I might have exposed him to Trichinosis.

He took back the cooking reins last night and grilled tuna and fresh corn and made a salad. Now why mess with that kind of perfection, much less expose our family to raw pork?


  1. Bluegrass Mama says:

    I’m with you on being perfectly happy not to cook. My hubby, on the other hand, requires a bit more encouragement to pick up the spatula and get to work, so don’t have a very broad menu around here.

  2. Richie Ann says:

    Oh My Gawd! I totally have that fear of popping biscuits too! And those miniture champaigne bottles that spit confetti!!! I never knew there was a name for such freakish phobia!

  3. Anne says:

    HAH! Ever since Pipes was born, I’ve been hardpressed to get back my cooking mojo…as for Shan, he’s fine with sandwiches. Thank gawd.

  4. Charla says:

    In my house we have me, who hates to cook, yet I am pretty good at it (thanks to my mama), and the hubs who likes to cook, yet doesn’t always have the best of luck in the end. Guess who wins? At least the kids don’t mind what they eat (or who cooked it), just as long as they get fed!

  5. Rebecca James says:

    cooking would totally be okay if it didn’t have to occur so relentlessly – day after day after day after day…foreVER

    how many take-aways per week can you buy and still be considered a responsible parent, do you think?

  6. Kelly says:

    I think that is funny you say that about the biscuit roll. My husband and I usually argue about who has to open the biscuits because I swear I have a mini heart attack with the popping sound. I also hate balloons popping…i guess it is along the same vein….shudder.

  7. Blonde Mom says:

    I am glad to know I am not the only person out there afraid of exploding biscuit cans!!!! 😉

  8. Mof2 says:

    I really enjoy cooking. But I do wish my husband would cook. He will “fire” up the grill once a month but that isn’t enough, I would love to have a break from the kitchen, because getting popped with grease sure does get old VERY fast!!

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