We like to take neighborhood walks with the girls. Sometimes we get a little crazy and bring the dogs, all 120 cumulative pounds of them. We have a one mile route in the neighborhood that we regularly take. Usually it is quite serene and a nice bit of exercise.
However, in just a matter of minutes the other night what was intended to be a leisurely after dinner stroll ended up being a comedy of errors…a 2-year-old in tears who was taken back to the house by her daddy who acquired a splitting headache en route, a 4-year-old convinced she was choking inbetween sobs and who continued to whine that she had to pee but refused to walk back home with me so she could use the restroom, a nearly 10-year-old stubborn dog who was overjoyed with the opportunity to drag aforementioned 4-year-old around the block and who demonstrated her canine joy by taking a leisurely poop on someone’s front lawn, and a 70-plus pound Akita mix who just wants to RUN LIKE THE WIND.
Ahhh, good times.
So, here is my advice on how to keep the peace during an after dinner stroll:
Give up the cute little red wagon walks for the 2-year-old and strap that girl in her jogging stroller so she is not tempted to climb out every 2 seconds and scream “NO” each time you sit her back down in said wagon.
Make sure your 4-year-old has gone to the bathroom before you head out the door.
Make sure your dogs have adequate park time so they are not tempted to poop on a neighbor’s front lawn.
Or, just stay home and have a bowl of ice cream.
p.s. I would never buy a “kiddie leash,” but let’s just say that sometimes I think the mama and daddy sanity fairy needs to drop a kiddie leash off on your front doorstep as soon as your child turns 2. That and maybe a jumbo bottle of Ibuprofen and some ear plugs. And beer. Or no, tequila. The hard stuff.