Christmas blows through our home with a whirlwind of wrapping paper, gift bags, bows, those annoying toy twist ties you need a machete to cut through, and enough dirty socks and dishes to make me want to sit in a corner and cry. Things about our house that usually don’t phase me grate on my nerves come January. Like why are these cheap McDonald’s Happy Meal toys breeding behind my back and why have I kept every issue of Southern Living published over the last six years and what in God’s name is that smell? (Turns out it was our old baby stroller that was left out in the rain one too many times that I happily sent to the curb on trash pickup day.)
I was having a bit of insomnia one night during Christmas break and made the mistake of clicking on the Flylady website. Trust me, nothing will throw you into a pit of former neat freak despair than reading Flylady’s site and realizing your house is being taken over by the powerful undertow of dirt and clutter created by two dogs and two kids. Just give me 40 lashes with a Swiffer and be done with it!
After reading Flylady’s archived daily e-mails about how I should swish my toilet, do a load of laundry, and shine my kitchen sink daily, I was suddenly really sleepy. I ate a few chocolate chip cookies, chased them with milk, left the dirty dish and glass on the counter and crawled back into bed, remembering I had intended to strip and wash our sheets that day but never got around to it. Take that Flylady! I may have also left the toilet unflushed and unswished!
I subscribed to Flylady’s e-mails several years ago and somewhere around assignment number 989 I wanted to rip her wings off. Apparently I am looking for a cleaning fairy that will actually do all the work for me while I kick back, watch reruns of Sex in the City, and enjoy the solitude while my children are at the playground with their au pair slash gourmet cook who is also a licensed massage therapist.
I know many people are trying Flylady, like MamaSeuss, but Flylady scares me. The website is information overload and the chubby bluehaired Flylady mascot that greets you from the home page is not really an image I embrace.
Flylady proposes you do something called a 27 fling boogie. Now I can handle that. Last week I purged our house of anything that came free with a carton of chicken nuggets or was a prize from one of those giant gumball machines and I took two large garbage bags and a box of stuff to Goodwill.
Flylady, my kitchen sink may not glisten and shine, but if I take out my contacts and squint it looks presentable.
Psst…I found some great de-cluttering tips at the Real Simple website as well as some cleaning and organizing tips at Better Homes & Gardens. ParentHacks also had a recent conquer the clutter post. And here’s another great website with organizing and cleaning tips.
Feel free to leave any cleaning, organizing, or de-cluttering tips in the comments. Not that I need help or anything. And I’m in good company. Lindsey at Suburban Turmoil admitted that she’s a FlyLady dropout, too.
UPDATED: I don’t normally read Dooce for organizational inspiration, but this post makes me want to set flame to my closet.
And how fun would these baskets on clearance at PB be for a kitchen or play room?
Keeping the Castle is a b5media blog focusing on housekeeping and homemaking tips. Although I tend to make fun of Martha Stewart types, I secretly want to be one. This recent post about January being get organized
your shit together month includes some wonderful tips.