It’s best that parents keep a poker face when their children say something innocently inappropriate. It might be funny, but it isn’t behavior we want to reinforce, like saying “please” or “thank you” or letting mommy use the bathroom without busting down the door. There can be no muffled giggling, no nervous eye twitches…absolutely no indication that something is up.
It’s tough to keep a parents’ poker’s face, however, when your sweet 4-year-old daughter looks at you and says, with all seriousness, “Mommy, I want to play with my doctor shit.”
Me: “You mean your doctor’s kit sweetie?”
Caitlin: “Yes, my doctor’s shit.”
Fast forward a few weeks and Caitlin is playing at our Baptist minister of music neighbor’s house with their little girl. The little girl breaks out her toy doctor’s kit. “Let’s play doctor’s shit!” exclaims Caitlin. Fortunately no one really heard her but me. Whew.
I was hoping we’d left all this in the past but on Saturday when I told Caitlin we were going to the doctor to get a shot, she was genuinely excited about the prospect of a shot, as if it were some exotic locale, and just had to tell her daddy.
“Daddy, I’m going to go get my doctor’s shit today!”
“Caitlin, you mean shot?”
“No, Daddy, I mean shit!”
The flu shot took all of 5 minutes and we stopped by the grocery afterwards, celebrating the girls’ braveness with free sugar cookies for them and a six pack of beer for us. We’re walking down the crowded aisle, pushing Amelia in a car cart barge when suddenly Caitlin starts limping and proclaims:
“My doctor’s shit hurts!”