Sometimes I feel like we’re living with a 14-year-old trapped in a 4-year-old’s body. A few weekends ago Caitlin had two tantrums before noon. Apparently it was bonus tantrum day and mama was left in the dark without her tantrum punch card (survive ten tantrums and get a free margarita!)
Most meltdowns I can blame on her being tired or hungry because really what else would explain here completely falling apart over the fact that I wanted to vacuum while she colored at the kitchen table?
Unfortunately, Caitlin’s meltdowns, although much less frequent, have hit new levels of roll-the-eyes in stubbornness, stomp-off pouting that are flashbacks to the terrible twos. The one comeback that kills me? “Mommy, I NOT YOUR FRIEND ANY MORE.”
Amelia at 19 months is already showing some terrible twoisms as in “NO” is her new favorite word. AWESOME! But hey, I’ve survived one go round in the ring with the “twos,” so I can do it again. And this time? I’m not pregnant like I was with Caitlin so I CAN DRINK.
With all this in mind, here’s another edition of realistic preschool parenting newsletter headlines.
If You’re Happy and You Know It:
Leave Mommy Alone While She’s Locked in the Bathroom
Meet the Manny:
Why Mommy Keeps Cloning her Friend, Jack Daniels
Developing Hand/Eye Coordination:
Teaching Your Preschooler to Uncork a Wine Bottle
Secrets of Well-Rested Moms:
Discretely Spiking Apple Juice, Just Plain Wrong or Sheer Brilliance?
PMS in Preschoolers:
More Raging Hormones than a Hillary Duff Concert
The Doodlebops are Freaks, but We Love Them
Here are some goodies I posted in May because the “real” parenting newsletters are just not as entertaining or realistic.