Love Thy Neighbor

Dear Neighbor:

Thank you for suppressing your primal urge to fire up the circular saw for a second night in a row. When you got the yen to play Bob the Builder at 10:42 p.m. Tuesday it was rather annoying. Thankfully you decided after about five minutes that you would stop building/fixing/chopping up body parts or whatever the hell it was you were doing because I have been contemplating the following late night activities as a retort:

    Mowing our front lawn
    Using our leaf blower on your driveway
    Pressure washing the mildew that is growing on the front of your house

Thank you kindly for refraining from further nocturnal home improvement projects.

Signed in neighborly love,

A woman with small children who needs her sleep dammit and is doing well to deal with the other neighbor’s dogs who bark all night


  1. Anne says:

    you could always leave a flaming paper sack of dog poo on their doorstep for good measure. that’s my best trick of all.

  2. Margo says:

    You want unwelcome, extremely-strange, overly-familiar, inappropriately-timed neighborly noise?
    Try living in an apartment. Sharing a bathroom wall…I KNOW you get my drift. I know it’s all relative, but still – it could be so much worse 🙂

  3. laura says:

    My neighbor gets drunk on summer weekends with his friends, when the kiddos are at their mom’s house. At about midnight they come out for their first smoke-break in the driveway (steps away from our bedroom window), crank up the music in his car with the windows down so they can enjoy it while they carry on their conversation in near-yells.

    They do it again at about 2.

    Then, when things are winding down at four, they all come out for one last smoke and stand around talking (loudly) about motorcycles. Usually one of them gets the bright idea of turning on his motorcycle there in the driveway and revving it, over and over and over, to show off its power.

    At 4am.

    I have put up with it for 2 summers now, but I’ll be damned if it happens next year when I’ve got a 9 month old trying to sleep!

  4. Renee says:

    That’s too funny! The first thing I thought of too was chopping up body parts. Why in the hell would anyone be doing that, that late at night?! WTF?

  5. Blonde Mom says:

    He is apparently also repairing a refrigerator. I seriously considered taking a photo and posting it but thought that might take it too far. 😉

  6. Dane Hillery says:

    I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.

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