Radio Spaz Mommy

Decisiveness is not one of my traits. Just ask the hubby. Pasta or chicken for dinner? Rent this DVD or this DVD? Frozen margarita or on the rocks?

Back in 1987 when he and I met and would go on hot dates in his equally hot red Toyota Starlet that reeked of Polo cologne and my hair spritz, I would surf radio stations like nobody’s business, seeking out the perfect song, whether it be by U2 or INXS or the Beastie Boys or Janet Jackson. And it didn’t scare him away…the radio surfing…not my taste in music or big hair. Because you must have the perfect music as the soundtrack to cruise McDonalds in Small Town USA. Back in the 80s teenagers didn’t text each other to find out whose parents were out of town for the weekend. We communicated the old fashioned way, via telephone and the SCENT OF FREE BEER that would bring teenagers from miles around to your doorstep, or the bed of your truck if it was a field party.

Fast forward to 2006. Here’s a snippet of my random running mental commentary as I flipped from radio station to radio station to radio station while en route to the pediatrician’s office late Monday with Amelia because, frankly, she’s too young to complain or tell me that I’m a dork.

Here ya go…

Generic Top 40 Station #1
London Bridge by Fergie
“Gawd this freakin’ song sucks. Is she trying to sound like Gwen Stefani? Fergie go back to Black Eyed Peas.”

Generic Top 40 Station #2
Promiscious Girl by Nelly Furtado and some dude unknown to me
“Oh I like this song, but I probably shouldn’t listen to it in front of the girls. Favorite line… Girl I’m a freak you shouldn’t say those things.”

Some generic love song by Nick Lachey
“This song sounds just like his first release. Sorry Nick!”

Country Station #1
Some Keith Urban tune
“I just can’t get into Aussie man singing country. I wonder if he and Nicole Kidman are really moving to Nashville?”

Country Station #2
Some old Shania Twain song (wait, aren’t they all old?)
“Why isn’t there ANYTHING DECENT on the radio?”

Back to Generic Top 40 Station #2
Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake
“Oh I looooove this song. (Cranks it up.) I can’t believe I like a JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE song.”

When Caitlin’s in the car she still requests Bon Jovi, but when mama and baby sister are together we listen to Radio Spaz Mommy. I really should burn a few CDs or get satellite radio, but there’s some sort of escapism in listening to cheesie top 40 radio and singing as loud as I can, because for about .2 seconds I feel like a teenager cruising town (only I’m 37, with two carseats in the back, and a sidekick that poops in her pants.)


  1. molly says:

    Yeah, I can relate. I’m older than you, but the problem just keeps getting worse. You keep looking for new and exciting music. My teenagers bring their music to me and I listen to it with them. Serves two purposes – they think I’m cool, and it gives me something to listen to. Teens find the experimental stuff out there, much of it not on the radio yet. And yes, much, but not all of it, crap.
    My huband stopped listening to new music when Springsteen came out with Born in the USA. Love Springsteen as much as the next fan, but it can get really old aftr the 547th listening.

  2. Chris says:

    OMG, I almost died laughing when I read this – I’m 36, have one carseat and a sidekick who poops her pants also…..see, I’m trying to relive my glorious youth (well, maybe not so glorious, but it was better than being 36), so I got an 85 Mustang GT…….I went out CRUISING the other night (husband was napping) with my KID (how well can you cruise, really, with a toddler in a carseat?) and I actually drag-raced (and beat!) some kids in a Honda Civic……..but safely, of course – my daughter was strapped securely in her carseat and we didn’t have to go much about 45 mph to beat a Honda Civic. Oh, how I long for the 80s….love your blog!


  3. Anne says:

    “I feel like a teenager cruising town (only Iā€™m 37, with two carseats in the back, and a sidekick that poops in her pants”

    The best line ever written.

  4. Nicole says:

    Ditto the above comments about your closer. I was laughing out loud.

    And WTF is that London Bridge song all about? Glad I’m not the only one.

  5. Library Mama says:

    Hah! Hilarious!

    Now that I have my Mp3, I still listen to the radio when I’m in the car/van, but I’m on the lookout for songs I like well enough to download.

    Every now and then, I find the perfect song, but by the time I’m able to write it down, I forget the title and the artist (I never was that good at remembering the titles of songs unless the title was an oft-repeated phrase in the chorus).

    Re: your sidekick. Enjoy it while you can. I’m at the stage now where my boys have no interest in being my sidekick. They’ll ride in the vehicle with me only if they absolutely have to. Well, sometimes #3 can be bribed. šŸ˜‰

  6. Amanda says:

    “sidekick that poops in her pants” That cracked me up!!!

    We listen to country in the car and everybody is happy.

  7. Pattie says:

    This was so funny! I am a radio surfer as well. My kids are starting to revolt now! They get so upset when I change the stations a million times a minute. Oh and I love that Promiscuous song, and that line is my favorite, but like you, I also think to myself “I shouldn’t be listening to this in front of them”….then I heard my 2 year old singing” baba, don’t be mad, don’t be mean…” Oh Noooooo!

  8. Renee says:

    You’re funny. I surf too, and I also run the gamut from country to rock to well, anything. My kids know the words to a wide variety of songs though, I can tell you that!

  9. Mrs. Flinger says:

    HEH! I’m the same music-psychofrenic. I’m folk/top 100/90s/”lesbian folk” (chicks with guitars) and some modern alternative. NO COUNTRY. Sorry. šŸ™‚

  10. Nancy says:

    I am a terrible car radio surfer, too. My husband will happily listen to the same mix CD every morning and evening on our commute, and it drives me NUTS. Give me variety (and of course I am snobby about what I actually like…) or give me silence in the car!

  11. Charla says:

    You really would love XM…it’s got a lot more channels to surf to. I have enjoyed mine since day one. (and…I hate that London Bridge song. I also have to censor songs around Chase – he was singing something about clothes falling to the floor the other day, oops!)

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