Mean Cuisine

Yesterday I felt compelled to be super productive at work after missing most of the afternoon on Monday and I didn’t leave the office for lunch. That was mistake number one. I decided to nuke a frozen Lean Cuisine for lunch. That was mistake number two. By 3 o’clock the three morsels of grilled chicken that I cut into tiny pieces in an effort to savor each and every bite and the twelve Asian style noodles I had devoured had worn off and I was so hungry that I started digging through loose change in the bottom of my purse and debating whether or not I should hit the downstairs vending machine. I opted to drive down to the corner McDonald’s and get a dollar caramel sundae. By 5:30 I was so hungry and irritable with the kids and the dogs that I smashed my knee into our kitchen table while trying to nudge our 70-pound dog out of my way as I was trying to buckle a very squirmy Amelia into her high chair.

There is nothing worse than being hungry during rush hour and pickup from daycare. Because if your children are whining and hungry, it’s best to deal with them on a full stomach. I tend to get the shakes and have borderline low blood sugar when I am hungry any way. Translation, mama is one irritable beotch if she doesn’t eat enough. So if you ever see me in the break room at work heating up a Lean Cuisine, you’ll probably want to avoid me the rest of the day. And if you spot me on the highway, you’d better head the opposite direction because I’ll be one crazed with hunger woman scavenging the floorboard for abandoned Cheez-Its and Cheerios or maybe a tasty Altoid.

15 comments

  1. Mayberry says:

    oh, yeah. And ditto for the kids, right? I think the three of us consume about 80% of our daily calories between 4 p.m. and 6. It’s either that or just plain kill each other from the crankiness.

  2. Emily says:

    Oh gosh. I remember the Lean Cuisine days. I always ate lunch around 11am – starving after the PopTart wore off – and then that Lean Cuisine was gone by 2:30. I feel for you!

  3. Blonde Mom says:

    Emily: I have to stay away from Pop Tarts for breakfast or any kind of pastry/sweet stuff because they wear off in about 30 minutes. Bring on the protein! Otherwise I’m gnawing on my mousepad all day. 😉

  4. Nicole says:

    I’ve had the Lean Cuisine, looked up and said, “Well, that was a nice appetizer.” I get very very grumpy when I am hungry. I think the sundae was an excellent idea.

  5. Library Mama says:

    I’ve been working on losing a little weight this year. You know – New Year’s Resolution and all.

    Anyway, I find the drive home from work brutal.

    I’ve started to have an apple as I drive home. It manages to keep me sane. If I forget that apple, though, I pretty much eat a whole meal’s worth of food as I prepare dinner!

  6. mothergoosemouse says:

    Nuke and puke is not worth it. It SUCKS.

    I have to admit, I come home after work every day before picking up the girls, and I ALWAYS have a snack. Not a healthy one either. Puts me in a much better frame of mind. If I could get away with having a beer before pickup, I’d do that too.

  7. mrsmogul says:

    When I was 19, I was depressed that my jerk boyfriend left me that I couldn’t eat for a month! I could only eat Lean Cuisine..too tired to cook! AND I GOT LEAN!

  8. Anne says:

    i am the same exact way…shan and i both, and once we are both suffering from sugar crises…it is world war three and the walls start tumbling all around us. lean cuisine? they still make that shiz? whatEVER.Stick some granola bars in the car. and damn but that caramel sunday sounds de-vine.

  9. mamatulip says:

    This post reminded me of the time my aunt, cousin and I got stuck in my aunt’s car in the middle of a horrible, scary snowstorm. We were stuck in her car — literally stuck, couldn’t get out — for like, four and a half hours, and the only thing we had to eat was this one lone peanut M&M I’d found on the floor of the backseat.

    We split it three ways.

  10. Renee says:

    Those Cuisines are WAY too lean for me too. I eat them for lunch a couple of times a week and then eat, like an entire chocolate cake when I get home.

  11. Nancy says:

    I do OK with the lean cuisines while I’m at work, but I start getting very cranky on the ride home. Once we’ve picked up the girls and gotten to the house, I’m all about finding something to eat — and if it doesn’t happen quickly enough I’m a major cranky puss.

  12. Kristen says:

    I’m terribly grouchy if I don’t eat for too long, too…and being hungry in traffic with hungry and cranky kids is like a form of torture for me.

  13. tonya says:

    OMG! I HAVE THE LOW SUGAR BLUES TOO. I START SHAKING AND GET KINDA DISORIENTED. WITH MY 2 YEAR OLD, SOMETIMES I DON’T GET A CHANCE TO EAT TILL MY SUGAR STARTS DROPPING, AND I DON’T HAVE A CHOICE. DO YOU GET A HEADACHE AFTERWARD ALSO? IT SUX DOESN’T IT! MAKES DIETING MUCH MORE DIFFICULT FOR ME.

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