Living Up to the Southern Stereotype

So Sunday afternoon I’m barefoot on the patio, balancing a diaper-clad baby on my hip who protested being put down for a nanosecond, and attempting to light the grill (it’s a gas grill and I can assure you I wasn’t holding her OVER the grill). I nearly singe my thumb off and before I know it I yell out the most horrendous of the horrendous curse words you can blurt out on the Sabbath. Especially when your neighbors are outside. And especially when you didn’t make it to church that morning, but went to the pool and then proceeded to go to the grocery with your hair still in a damp ponytail from swimming and braless underneath your sundress. Also at some point over the weekend Caitlin decides it would be a hoot to start peeing in the yard. Really, I just need a NASCAR sticker on my pickup truck and a 2-liter of Mountain Holler in the fridge in the trailer and I’m all set. Oh, and a coonhound and a packet of chewin’ tobacco. Pass the biscuits, ya’ll.

p.s. This post is in honor of Britney Spears who told Matt Lauer during an interview that her excuse for driving with her baby boy on her lap was because, “We’re country.” You were in Malibu, not Louisiana honey. It ain’t the bayou.

Edited to add: Britney’s interview airs Thursday morning on the Today show AND tomorrow night on Dateline. NBC is squeezing the juicy bits out of this interview, are they not?

Update…because I just can’t stop obsessing about Britney…I Tivo’d Dateline last night and saw about one minute of it and I could not GET PAST THE GUM SMACKAGE.

10 comments

  1. R*Belle says:

    Ah, I am fully satisfied that every Southerner has a touch of redneck in them, most of us know when to show it and when to hide it. Britney is just plain old trailer trash, but I do have some sympathy for her. And that word I am thinking that you said? It is unfortunately a regular part of my vocabulary.

  2. Jennifer says:

    *snort*

    Well, according to Jeff Foxworthy, it dosen’t sound like yer a redneck unless your pool is really the bathtub from last years rennovations…

    Wait, is that the same thing?

  3. Nicole says:

    Put a Nascar sticker on your truck — the one up on blocks in your yard!

    I’m actually starting to uncover my redneck woman as well, and she’s kind of fun.

  4. mamatulip says:

    “You were in Malibu, not Louisiana honey. It ain’t the bayou.”

    *snort* Best. Line. Ever.

  5. Mrs. Flinger says:

    My mom continues to yell at the TV, ‘OH YEA, HONEY. WE FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.”

    *sigh*

    I just can’t wait until it’s over so she can stop the yelling at the TV.

  6. Melissa says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!!

    I will confess to my need to stare at Britney Spears. Country? Well Grandma used to chew and spit at the table, but no no more. Gaw. And peeing in the yard? That really is the only way to potty train.

  7. Mary says:

    So funny! I couldn’t get over her “country” comment. I guess you can take the Britney out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the Britney.

    I’m a little obsessed with that girl, too.

  8. Nohell says:

    James Brown,
    My beau shares your disdain for Brit. I told him about your posting and here is what he had to say:

    “Britney seems to want it both ways. In the segment I saw, Matt asked her about critics using her Southern, suburban (NOT “country”) roots as a negative against her. She decried that such a characterization was unfair, because it paints Southern “country” folks with a broad, negative brush. However, SHE wants to use “We’re country.” as an excuse for bad parenting.

    Go away, Britney. Time and harsh reality has burst the bubble for the jail bait stalkin’, dirty-old-man contingent of your fan club, and the other half has graduated from their ‘tweener phase and discovered real music.”

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