Monday Musings

Isn’t it better to realize that your 14-month-old was trying to snack on a nugget of dog kibble, and not a small brown pebble, like you originally thought? I mean dog kibble will eventually soften…

Speaking of dogs, you haven’t seen true filth until you’ve thoroughly cleaned a dog door that hasn’t been cleaned in a long time. I guess all these months I’ve ignored the fact that it’s really not supposed to be brown. Thanks to a good scrubbing and Charlie’s Soap, it looks almost new. Yes, it’s been a thrill a minute this holiday weekend.

If you want a good laugh, tell your almost 4-year-old that a friend is getting a Shih Tzu dog and see what kind of reaction you get… “Uncle Brad is getting a sh*t dog?” Yes, we kept the proverbial parenting poker face because if we let on that she’d said something inappropriate, Caitlin would be broadcasting her funny new four-letter word on the playground at daycare tomorrow.

One can never have enough ice cold beverages or wine or margaritas over the course of a holiday weekend spent at home with two children under the age of 4 (the youngest of whom woke up at 4 a.m. coughing her poor little head off).

Speaking of beer and to be filed in the “why didn’t I think of that category,” this is hilarious.. I was thinking it would really just work for men, but then I read about the woman who wore a belly full of Cosmos on a cross-country flight to New York. If beer’s not your thing, it’s good for water, ice tea, lemonade or whatever your beverage of choice happens to be, but a spare tire full of sweet tea just doesn’t seem right.

We took a long neighborhood walk yesterday and I noticed how tan Caitlin is already just from playing in the backyard this weekend. She has that golden California girl skin that tans so well (unlike mine, which eventually turns into one giant freckle). I told her she was “brown as a berry,” an expression from my mom and grandma, and the hubby commented that she was “brown as a nut.” She looked up at him and said, very matter of factly, “I’m not a nut…I’m just an old stump!” Bonus points to anyone who knows what children’s book the line “I am just an old stump” comes from.

11 comments

  1. Pattie says:

    I think I need to get one of those bellies for red wine…all they need is to make something similar to smuggle chhese and crackers and I’m all set. Enjoy your weekend!

  2. mama_tulip says:

    “Uncle Brad is getting a shit dog?”

    LOL! I don’t know if I could have kept a straight face. 😉

  3. Anne says:

    my older kid once nibbled on a dog PELLET. That was not a relief. I called the dr to make sure I didn’t need to bring her in. Freaking gross!

  4. Lisa says:

    I think the book is the giving tree? Saddest most favorite childrens book ever. I vote for the dog food by the way. Its less of a choking hazard.

  5. Jamie says:

    Lisa:

    You are right! Bonus points for you! We’ve been reading my childhood copy and it made me realize how much her little brain soaks in that sticks. It’s one of my favorites, too. Now that she’s been reciting the “stump” line I’ve been talking to her about the meaning of the book. I highly recommend it or anything else by Shel Silverstein.

    Jamie

  6. mothergoosemouse says:

    We regularly repeat the shih-tzu joke from “Best In Show”. Kids love to think they’re cursing when they’re really not, don’t they?

    Both of my children have a better tan than I do. My pasty whiteness is blinding.

  7. Jennifer says:

    HA HA!

    Love the dog comment!

    Out of the mouths of babes eh?

    The husband has a plytapus or however thats spelled. He goes on many marches for his work so ts a little backpack type thing that he fills with water to keep him hydrated. We take it hiking as well.

  8. nancy says:

    Whew — better dog kibble than dog poop.

    I am hoping my little girls get some color at the beach next week — not enough to burn, but just so they’re not fish belly white. And I hope I don’t end up fish belly white (or lobster red) by the end of the week, either.

  9. sweatpantsmom says:

    Omigod. I’m lovin the Beerbelly.

    Maybe for the women, a pair of BeerJugs would work as well. Not that I would wear them. I’m just saying.

Leave a Reply