Mommy Dumbest

I thought this was a tabloid rumor at first. If your baby falls out of the highchair, please don’t, like Miss Federline, wait a full week before taking him to the hospital only to find out he has a minor skull fracture and small blood clot. I’m starting to pray that they don’t produce any more offspring or any more rap albums at least until Britney can get the car restraint and high chair restraint thing down pat (or pay someone to do it for her). We all make mistakes the first few months post-partum when we’re sleep deprived and should legally be banned from operating small machinery, but he’s seven months old! Hopefully he’s going to be fine, but the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services reportedly made a surprise “routine” visit to the Federline/Spears homestead today.

Now I’ve had plenty of dumb mommy moments. Let me put that in present tense for you: I have plenty of dumb mommy moments. But typically they fall into the mundane “didn’t fasten baby’s diaper securely and we had a leaky poo poo on mommy’s new capris” parenting fouls. That actually happened today waiting at the pediatrician’s office. (And is it just me, or do you get some smug satisfaction out of seeing other children act like the spawn of Satan at the doctor’s office, thereby realizing your own offspring are not that bad…not that bad at all.)

One of the scariest things that happened to me as a new mom, though, took place during the first trip to the grocery store with Caitlin, who was probably about a month old. I was sweating bullets just trying to get her infant carrier car seat securely positioned on the grocery cart. As we were leaving the store, I made a sharp right turn on to the highway and I glanced in the rearview mirrow just as her carseat tipped over on its side. I thought I had seriously injured my poor sweet baby. I tried to remain calm (but was silently getting beat down by waves of panic and on the verge of having a heart attack) and pulled back into the grocery parking lot to check on her. Caitlin was peacefully sleeping and securely strapped into the carseat and oblivious to the fact that her car seat was on its side. I didn’t leave the house with her again until we made sure that car seat wouldn’t budge an inch, even on a hairpin turn.

So, do you have any dumb mommy moments you want to ‘fess up to?

UPDATED: Here’s a link that explains it was the nanny who actually did this. And of course, it was definitely an accident. Still, the craziness!

17 comments

  1. Jill Butler says:

    I found your blog while reading mama tulip’s blog all the time.

    I have a dumb mommy moment to fess up to. When my eight month old was just a little over a month old I took him to the Dr. for a checkup. He was born prematurely and was sent home on a monitor to check his breathing and heart rate. While at the Doctor’s office his monitor was going off because of a loose wire. I had my baby up on the table and was reaching down to fix his monitor, when all of a sudden I heard a loud thud. I looked up at the table and saw that Cole was no longer there. He had somehow managed to roll off the table and fell on the hard tile floor. I will never forget the sound he made when he hit the floor. I was immediately panicky and crying. I thought he was really going to be hurt. The nurse walked in and I told her what had happened. She acted like it was no big deal. She said “Oh you would be surprised how resilient babies are.” It was scary though. Thank God he was okay!

  2. Emily says:

    When Jack was probably 3 months old, he fell asleep in his bouncy seat and then I fell asleep. Next thing I know, he’s crying – he’d shifted and was hanging half out of his bouncer! Never did this occur again…

    I’m sure there’s more. Luckily, the last time we had leaky poop was when he was 2 months old and we were testing some “White Cloud” diapers someone gave us – we never used those again!

  3. Nancy says:

    I read a report that said that Britney and Kevin had a doctor come to the house when Sean fell out of his high chair, so presumably the doctor thought everything was OK. But I would think with that kind of injury you’d see signs sooner than a week after it happened. They are lucky it wasn’t worse!

    I’ve had both kids roll off the changing tables and beds before. Scared the living heck out of me, but they were OK. I felt very, very guilty afterward though!

  4. Lucinda says:

    I don’t even care if the nanny did it- falling out of a high chair can happen, but why would they wait a week to have him checked out?! I would have had him at the hospital an hour later. So dumb.

    My baby’s car seat tipped once, too. I was so upset and worried. I hated her infant seat. I won’t use it again if I have another baby.

  5. Jamie says:

    Somehow I have managed to not have either of my girls fall off the changing table and Amelia, especially, is squirmy as hell. There was the time, though, that I was operating on fumes from sleep deprivation and made it home from the grocery only to realize that I’d never fully fastened her carseat. (luckily it’s only about 2 miles from our house but that really freaked me out.)

    Oh, and there was the time I fell asleep sitting up while nursing Caitlin in bed…that’s why I could never co-sleep…I was terrified of her wriggling under the covers and suffocating!

    Nancy, I’ll have to check out the news about the doctor checkup…of course she’s under the spotlight now since the driving with the baby on her lap episode!

  6. Renee says:

    When Anna was crawling, we bought a humidifier and put it in her room on the floor?! She crawled right up to it and burned her little fingers pretty badly. Duh! what were we thinking?!
    Also, I forgot John M. in the car once when he was about 6 months old. Only for about five minutes. Yikes anyway.
    Please don’t call Social Services! ;^)

  7. Pattie (Domesticator) says:

    Let’s see….dumb things…Once I allowed my son who was 4 at the time to jump into pillows on my bed. He ended up in the ER after smashing his nose into the headboard! Scary thing was I allowed it, and I was standing right there when he did it…talk about guilt!

  8. bridgermama says:

    The whole Brittny thing sounds a little suspicious to me. Actually most people I would give the benefit of the doubt. But not that freak!

    Anyway, I was playfully hoisting B into the air and smacked his little head into the sloped ceiling in our bedroom. I cried, he didn’t even seem to notice.

  9. R*belle says:

    I think social services checking it out indicates there is something that the public is not aware of. They do not check out every time a child falls.

  10. Bluegrass Mama says:

    They didn’t have bases for infant car seats when my 20 year old was a baby, and I hate to admit that more than once I drove off with him strapped securely into the car seat–but having forgotten to buckle the seat itself into the car! Luckily I realized it quickly, pulled over and fixed the problem before it tipped.

  11. Jamie says:

    Babies are pretty resilient. I’m reminded of that when I remember they used a vacuum suction thing to help pull both girls out of my tummy during my c-sections!

  12. Kristen says:

    The very first time I ever left the house alone with my child, he was seven weeks old. I had a wreck that day. THAT SUCKED. Wasn’t necessarily a bad mommy moment, but at the time I felt like it was all my fault, why did I bring him with me, why didn’t I leave him at home, etc….

  13. Anne says:

    I went to my lab right after Lily was born and saw some packacges sitting on my desk. So I propped the babyseat on them and just as I let go to inspect the packages, the baby carrier fell off my desk (carrier was not level due to the mail) and flipped upside down. It was mortifying. The baby cried a little (wouldn’t you?!) but she was strapped in and didn’t even get a ding. That’s what gave me serious faith in the ol baby bucket. My whole life as a mother is fraught with bad mommy moments. It is my story.

  14. deb says:

    Craziness, indeed! That poor child…hasn’t got a chance. Can you imagine your own children being raised in the spotlight like that? I know Brittney must have been really scared when she noticed her baby not acting “normal” after the incident. I had plenty of scares myself. Once when my youngest was about 6 weeks old, I was still breastfeeding and she woke up to eat. Her crib (the one she shared with her baby sister) was at the foot of our bed. It was the middle of the night and, well, I stumbled out of bed and made my way to the crib and picked her up and realized about halfway back to MY bed that I was holding her upside down lol. I’ve always kidded her about that, and she loves for me to tell the story. Scared the daylights out of me – a young mom – I was convinced I’d injured her tiny little body. Needless to say, kids and babies are pretty darn resilient ;~)

  15. mama_tulip says:

    I just caught sight of this while standing in line at the drugstore today. But it was splashed across some cheesy tabloid and I thought it was bullshit. Huh.

    Okay, when Julia was about 8 months old she and I were rolling on the living room floor together when all of a sudden my grandmother’s antique auto harp that was leaning haphazardly against the wall fell on her head. One of the little spikes that holds the strings so tightly punctured her head and she literally had blood squirting out of her head and running down her neck. I didn’t know that the head bleeds rather easily and I totally freaked out. I ended up calling 911…I was so, so shaken.

    And so mad I didn’t move that stupid auto harp before we got on the floor.

  16. Mrs. Flinger says:

    Fab. I’m a Hypochondriac and that plus mommyhood = not-so-good for the doc. Last week LB flipped herself down the bottom three stairs at home. Landing on her freakin’ head (sorta). Did I call?

    No.

    Now I’m not going to sleep. *sigh*

  17. Blonde Mom says:

    Leslie, Caitlin did the same thing when she was about 2. We have 3 steps leading from our kitchen down to our finished garage area (computer/doggie room) and somehow she stood there and just flipped herself off the top. It freaked me out. She was OK. I didn’t call the doctor either.

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