Give The Dog a Bone Already

Our neighbors have five dogs. Two of them are indoor dogs. One is a miniature poodle and I’ve never seen her pedicured pink nails touch down on actual grass. But her roomie, Spencer, is a rat terrier with a spunky little personality. So spunky, in fact, that he has the doggie cajones to come a calling at our front doorstep almost nightly between 9 and 10. Now I love dogs. We have two and we’ve let them and their dog hair infiltrate our lives. But we do not let our dogs loose to do their business. They either go in our backyard, which has turned it into a doggie poo landmine, or at the park (yes, we use our neighborhood park as our doggie porta potty). Spencer is regularly let loose to “do his business” and he has the audacity lately to demand treats from us during his nightly pee break. So, what’s the big deal? Well, Amelia’s room is by the front door and entryway. I cringe and my blood pressure shoots up when I hear his yippy bark out front and I practically throw my back out leaping off the couch to get a treat for Spencer to shut him up before he wakes the baby or Caitlin, whose room is just down the hall. We started giving him treats occasionally a while back and now he holds us hostage with his barking until he gets one. Spencer’s barking eventually gets Bailey, our neurotic female dog, all in a tither and she starts to bark. And, let me tell you, if she starts barking IT’S ALL DOWNHILL FROM THERE as Bailey’s bark would wake the dead. The other night I couldn’t find a treat fast enough, but I was so desperate to get Spencer to shut up and go home that I threw a saltine cracker at him. I don’t know about your household, but when you have kids it is no less than divine intervention to get them both to sleep by 9 and you’ll do anything to keep the peace. Spencer crossed a line last weekend, too, when he interrupted some much needed quality time between me and the hubby. Fill in the blanks.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the other morning my worse nightmare came true. I was getting ready in the bathroom. Everyone else was asleep.

And I hear it.

The bark.

Spencer.

At the front door.

A million curse words fly through my brain and I clench my teeth.

Luckily he got distracted by some walkers or a squirrel or he sensed my need to kick him into the next zip code and he quit.

I keep having visions of myself stomping out on the front porch in a robe and curlers with a shotgun.

15 comments

  1. R*belle says:

    I am afraid that we are neighbors and you are talking about my dog. Please, just take her in and give her a good home. She is driving me insane.

  2. jag says:

    We have two dogs and a cat, all of which stay either in our fenced in yard or on a leash, and though other people may want to leave their dogs loose, if they act like a-holes on my property, it’s no holds barred.

    You could put out some of the mouse glue traps on the front porch for about a week, so everytime he comes over he ends up running home with them stuck on his paws. You can write a note on the non-sticky side that they come off when copius amounts of veggie oil is applied, so his mommy and daddy can get them off. Then they’ll have to bathe him every time afterwards, and after 5 or six days of that, they might reconsider letting him run loose. You have every right to protect your family from his noise pollution.

  3. Jamie says:

    R*Belle, LOL on taking your dog in. If we didn’t have kids, we’d probably have about 10 dogs.

    JAG, I appreciate the advice. We really like Spencer. He’s a fun little dog and the girls love him, but when he started the barking at bedtime it crossed a line. I hate to approach our neighbors, but we may have to.

  4. Pattie (Domesticator) says:

    You know Jamie, there are people who “relocate” dogs to other areas so they can bother someone else. Not that I would know anything about that….:0

  5. Kristen says:

    Okay, I BARELY contain my patience with MY OWN dog barking! That would drive me nuts. I’m thinking you’re going to need something to your neighbors. Awkward, but necessary…

  6. kara says:

    Jamie, I’ve been reading your blog for about two weeks now, I just wanted to let you know it usually makes my day!

  7. Anne says:

    that is just wrong. I love dogs too but the whole sitting on your doortop barking and wanting to be let in? HAh. I’d be calling the pound after having a friendly conversation with the neighbor. My husband? he is not nearly as nice as me. It’s just RUDE to let your responsibility run around the neighborhood. and too too lame. in fact, i am pissed off now. wah wah wah!

  8. J's Mommy says:

    Can you talk to your neighbor about not letting the dog out *alone* at night? I feel for you. I mean, I have a chihuahua and I am constantly worried that she is going to wake the entire neighborhood with her yapping. I am always apologizing to my neighbors, but they insist they can’t hear her. Anyway, I just found your blog on someone’s blogroll and had to click on it because of your title. I am a blonde mom too and I just wanted to say hi!!!

  9. Undercover Angel says:

    Your blog is awesome! I hate it when the neighbors dog barks at night. Our neighbors are inconsiderate though. The husband drives a transport and occassionally leaves it running all night right under my son’s bedroom window. My husband says if he does it in the summer when the windows are up he’s going to personally go over and turn the engine off himself.

  10. sweatpantsmom says:

    I agree with the others – a mano a mano with the neighbors sounds necessary.

    If that doesn’t work, perhaps a subtle hint: Show up a their house, say around 9, scratch and whine at the door for a treat until they give in just to get rid of you. Repeat for several days in a row…

  11. Emily says:

    I’d be having a chat with the neighbors. It’s bad enough when our own (rat terrier or terrier mix) pooch starts barking, but the neighbor’s? You shouldn’t have to put up with that!

  12. Nancy says:

    That dog totally has your number. Kind of like the cat in our neighborhood has ours, because if he sits outside our door looking pitiful enough I’ll melt and bring him some food. 😉

  13. Indoor Dog Blogger says:

    Ouch that is a tricky situation! I am a big advocate of indoor dogs. When it comes to houses close together, there is definitely something to be said about keeping a dog as an indoor dog! With a little training and care in selecting a breed it is easy enough to do – and it would keep the neighbours in good graces 🙂

    Love the blog, looking forward to part 2 of the saga!

    Indoor Dog Bloggers last blog post..The Right Dog Collar for Training

  14. Indoor Dog Blogger says:

    Ouch that is a tricky situation! I am a big advocate of indoor dogs. When it comes to houses close together, there is definitely something to be said about keeping a dog as an indoor dog! With a little training and care in selecting a breed it is easy enough to do – and it would keep the neighbours in good graces 🙂

    Love the blog, looking forward to part 2 of the saga!

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