Six (OK Five) Degrees of Sleep Deprivation

Last night Caitlin was asleep by 9:15, the baby by 7:30, and the hubby was passed out in the recliner on a heating pad by 10. Yessirreee. It was just me and a bottle of Australian merlot. I caught up on blogland and my e-mail, threw back a few loads of laundry, and enjoyed not one, but nearly three glasses of wine, as well as a few Girl Scouts Thin Mint cookies. Woo hoo! Party time for mama. Normally I’m in bed by 10, but since today is my day off I decided to live on the edge and I didn’t crawl into bed until 12:30 a.m.

Big. Freaking. Mistake.

I woke to Amelia crying at 4 a.m. At first it was one of those “be vewy, vewy quiet and the baby will find her thumb and soothe herself back to sleep” wakings. But she continued to cry and I could tell something was wrong. I went in to her room and poor baby had thrown up unchewed pieces of red grape (she ate probably a dozen grapes for dinner that I had cut into teeny pieces) and was curled up in the farthest corner of her crib away from her little digestive mishap. Then Caitlin woke up and then the hubby woke up and the dogs were up and I found myself giving the girls a bubble bath at 5 a.m.

Usually at our house sleep deprivation falls into the following scenarios:
Mama and Daddy go to bed by 10. Both girls sleep soundly all night.
Mama goes to bed by 10 and Daddy stays up late working until midnight. The 3-year-old wakes up at 5:30 demanding Dora, French Toast sticks, and apple juice shaken, not stirred.
Mama and Daddy both stay up until midnight. Ditto on above for the 3-year-old, plus the baby wakes up just because at 1 a.m., just as mama and daddy have slipped into a deep sleep.
Mama and Daddy have client meetings the next day. Ditto on all of the above, plus the baby’s diaper leaks at 3 a.m.
Mama and Daddy have a few glasses of wine and stay up until at least midnight. Ditto on all of the above, a thunderstorm rolls through at 4 a.m., the neurotic dog 40-pound-dog whose nails haven’t been clipped in two years insists on getting in our queen-size bed between the two of us, the electricity goes off, and the 70-pound-dog feels left out and cold noses me at 5 a.m. with his dog treat breath.

12 comments

  1. nancy says:

    Yep, I always try to go to bed when the kids do, because if I tempt fate and stay up later one or both of them are up at ungodly hours. I miss feeling like an adult, though…

  2. Joel says:

    Our sleep problems, which seem to be frequent, also involve kids and dogs, however, our kids are at the opposite end of the spectrum…close to grown and prone (at least the younger of the two) to staying up till the wee hours and clomping around the house. He thinks he’s being quiet…he’s wrong. His clomping tends to disturb the pups who, more often than not, decide that since they’re now awake they need to pee. All of this seems to occur between 2-5 am…my alarm goes off at 6 am. Lots of short nights and long days.

  3. Erin says:

    As I sit here polishing off my second glass of wine and pondering my third, I am reminded how much I love that my children are now at the age where they sleep for 10-12 hours a night (sorry to rub it in). I’ll never forget the time I was at my book club, came home to find my husband passed out (not from drinking, just his normal sleep state) on the couch, while my son was sleeping in his puke in his crib. I smelled it the minute I walked up the stairs. I don’t know if he puked and snoozed or if my husband did not hear him crying. Regardless, it was just gross.

  4. mama_tulip says:

    Sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep. That we’ll not be able to catch up on for years and years and years.

    *sigh*

  5. Mignon says:

    Hi Jamie!
    Kids seem to have some kind of ESP about when their parents have either a) had an extra beer, b) had less sleep, or c) have not had sex in over two weeks. They’re like little cop-slash-Catholic-school-hall-moniters.
    As this is my first visit, I will get the following out of the way:
    1. I love your daughters’ names.
    2. Your website banner is lovely.
    3. On a Mac (using Safari as a browser) I can’t read the date stamp on your posts.
    4. You’ve only been doing this for 5 months? Are you some kind of blogger prodigy?

  6. Jamie says:

    Thanks for the comments…this is actually a donation-ware WordPress template by Jennifer at geeksmakemehot.com. Mignon thanks for the heads up on the date stamps…I use Firefox on a PC and I can’t see them and I’m not sure what is up with that. Well, coming back to add that I see them in Internet Explorer.

    Yep, I blog about as much as I talk…which is way too much!

    Belinda…if you only knew about Bailey. She has to be sedated to trim her nails. She has a lot of emotional baggage. We adopted her from the local shelter. She’s our first baby, though, and we love her in spite of all her quirks!

  7. Mrs. Flinger says:

    Jamie, you actually just totally described my Friday Night. THank you. I no longer need to blog it. 🙂

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