Up, Up and Away in My Beautiful Brassiere

Any woman who has birthed a babe and had their breasts balloon to frightening proportions knows that the ole mammaries just ain’t what they used to be after such stretching and eventual deflation. The 2006 model of moi is a bit more relaxed, shall we say, and I don’t mean mentally. For weeks I’ve been eyeing these colorful bras in my dresser drawer that I bought in the last months of my pregnancy with Miss A. They were on sale at Target and well, you know, I can’t resist a sale and I needed a little color in my life and Lord knows a pregnant woman needs colorful underwire bras that could double as pool flotation devices. Seriously, I could use them as chip and dip holders. I just can’t seem to toss them but there is no way in heck I will ever be able to fill those puppies out again. After two pregnancies and breastfeeding two babies, my breasts may disappear into my ribcage when I lie on my back, but by God they were workhorses back in the day!

This week I made my weekly trek to TJ Maxx (because I am a closet TJ Maxx addict). They had all these lacy pretty things on clearance and I picked out about 60 bras to try on thinking at least one would fit. I found one I really liked that was comfy to boot. I wore it last week and it was like my girls had gone from riding in a VW Bug to a jacked-up monster truck…they were so perky! If my boobs were a passage in a book it would have BEEN IN ALL CAPS! Of course part of the illusion of perkiness was the fact that I was wearing one of those fitted lycra blend shirts (you know the kind…a size women’s small would fit my 3-year-old). Any way, all day I was self-conscious about my chest and its newfound perkiness. I felt like everyone was looking at me and wondering where the heck those came from. Yeah, right.

17 comments

  1. buffi says:

    Oh, yeah. I can relate. I can buy my bras in the little girls dept. now. Which I guess is good as I suppose that there is nothing there to *sag* in a few years. But, still.

    Those t-shirts are good for the self-esteem, though, aren’t they? Except when my husband folds laundry. He always puts them in with SugarPlum’s clothes. *sigh*

  2. Nancy says:

    There is something amazing about a pretty and well-fitting bra. It’s kind of like a whole wardrobe change!

  3. Mari says:

    I *so* needed to read this post today. And disappearing into the ribcage? I have no idea what you are talking about…ahem…

    BTW, the laugh was what I needed. Not reading about your brassieres, per se.

  4. Anne says:

    You are so right. I now LIVE in these totally artificial padded bras and exclaim to my husband, ‘look at what your children, and you yourself by extension (as it were), have wrought upon my poor, unlucky, unloved, and much deflated bosom.

  5. Helene says:

    lol- I can totaly relate. soft padded underwires have become my beast friend. the best thing about them is I don’t have to worry about the high beams showing through 🙂

  6. Bethiboo says:

    I can relate! Before my breast reduction surgery my boobs were near my waist even with the bottom of my ribcage. You could pick them up and place them in an upright palm like a frisbee or large pancake! My n—–s were even with my elbows. I am glad I got mine hiked up!!!!!

  7. Going Crunchy says:

    I’ll trade! I’ll trade!

    Man, seems like I spent half my life wanting bigger boobs, now I just want them to go away. After kids the twin sisters went South to Mexico and haven’t made it back up to the States yet.

    I want a suck, tuck and lift when I’m done – – and I’m not a vain person at all- – -I just want to see my toes again.

    Going Crunchy’s last blog post..High Hopes for the Pea Plant

  8. Miracle Breasts says:

    I believe BBC did a study a while back and found that many women who hoped to undergo a breast reduction procedure really just needed a proper fitting bra. The one’s they had been wearing were giving them the false illusion that their breasts were really in need of a cosmetic makeover.

    Miracle Breastss last blog post..Breast Augmentation Connecticut

  9. Margret Shellhammer says:

    A bra is like a good boyfriend, supportive.

    Margret Shellhammers last blog post..Reborn Babies for Sale

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