So Big, Yet So Little

Caity baby
Caitlin officially graduated to big sister status last March with the birth of baby sister. Many of my mom friends told me that she would suddenly seem so big compared to a tiny newborn. The last year has been one of marked physical change–her signature poochy tummy with the strawberry birthmark is long gone and she’s sprouted a few inches taller and her jaw is more defined—she’s really more a little girl than a baby or even toddler now. But every once in a while, especially when she is sleeping, I’ll look at her and have baby deja vu. I’ll remember the fat cuddly babe with delicious folds of skin and dimply bottom and I can’t believe she’s almost 4. At times she is so eager to “be bigger and bigger,” as she says, and at other times she just wants to snuggle and rock. We went to the library earlier this week and as we headed toward the kids’ area I pointed to the Curious George paperback books on the shelf, but she was making a a beeline toward the baby board books in big wicker baskets on the floor. She chose two board books and I chose one, “Are You My Mother?,” which was one of my favorites as a kid. We read the baby board books from the library last night and there was something sweet and nostalgic about turning the thick cardboard pages with my big girl who loves Cinderella, plastic jewels, and having mama paint her toenails pink. Maybe she longs to be “bigger and bigger,” but I’m glad part of her still wants to be a baby. (Here’s a favorite picture of her at 7 months old).


  1. Nancy says:

    What a sweet picture. I have one of those 4 year old not-a-baby-not-a-girl kids myself. It is interesting to guess which version (baby or girl) will show up at any given moment.

  2. R*belle says:

    Awww. I love watching my kids grow up but sometimes it gives me a little bit of heart failure as well.

  3. Mrs. Flinger says:

    OH, man oh man! I’m so emotional that you’re making me all weepy! These kids are growing so fast and when you see another addition, you can’t help but think, “OH! My baby girl will be a big sister one day!”

    Gawl, hope I’m not sounding like a blundering idiot.

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