Dear Dust Mite Feces Research Man:

Thank you, once again, for making me paranoid about the germs lurking in my bed. I saw you on the Today Show this week and was morbidly curious about your latest insights into the world of microbes. Your interview with Oprah last year led to an impromptu trip to TJ Maxx and the purchase of four new pillows. But I really have enough on my stress palate without being reminded of the Petri dish of funk that I sleep with every night.


Washing the Sheets in Hot Water As We Type

Dust Mite Man


  1. R*belle says:

    Do you remember the commercial with the guy diving into the bed of nasty germs? ICK ICK ICK. I hate being reminded about germs. I mean, I know they are there, but really we co exist ok, I just don’t want to think about it.

  2. Bluegrass Mama says:

    Does your husband know that you’ve called him a “Petri dish of funk” in front of the entire Internet?

    Oh wait. Maybe you meant something else. I never watch those shows so I can remain blissfully ignorant.

  3. Jamie says:

    WAAA HAAA! Oh no, my hubby is fine. It’s pillows that this guy points out are very disgusting. Yes, it’s better to be blissfully ignorant when it comes to household germs! 🙂

Leave a Reply