Tonight I Googled a sure fire abdominal strengthening exercise one of my brother’s yoga guru friends told me about last night at a dinner party.

Yes folks for the past 20 minutes I’ve been perfecting something called the Bird Dog.

Welcome to the rock star weekend of an almost 40-year-old woman, which also includes Hardy’s cabernet sauvignon from a box (it’s like an oversized juice box for adults ya’ll!)

It dawned on me today that my birthday is in less than a month and I suddenly feel very ill-prepared. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up having it all together, whatever “all” is and whatever” together” means. But honestly? I’m still pretty much the same old me.

Tonight, however, I decided to take control of one aspect of my life that gravity has turned into muscular jello.

I blame it all on that woman. You know the one. The one with the audacity to wear a bikini to the indoor pool. We took the girls swimming today at the neighborhood YMCA and she stood taunting me as she spotted her toddler on the killer whale slide: the mom in a bikini with impressively taut abs. It was all I could do to not knock her down with a wayward pool noodle. I will say she inspired me to work on my posture while I chased after Miss A.

So that’s why tonight at nearly 10 o’clock I’ve been down on the floor on all knees exercising while the dogs look at me like, “What the heck is SHE DOING?!”

It’s never too late to teach an old dog new tricks. That’s what I keep telling myself any way.

In the mean time I think I’ll have some more wine.