shred

As The Thighs Burn

June 25, 2010 By Blonde Mom 9 Comments

The girls have been at my inlaws this week attending Vacation Bible School (aka free day camp with Jesus) with their cousins. I’ve missed them, my husband has missed them, and even Jack the dog curled up nightly on the floor by Miss C’s bed.

Still, when your kids head to the grandparents for a few nights and you realize you’ll have the house to yourselves there’s a little bit of Risky Business dancing around the house action that ensues. It’s like you’re 17 again and your parents announce they’re going out for the night and you’re in charge of the household. In reality you’re 40 and you’re just excited about the prospect of cleaning your 5-year-old’s room and tossing the 2.5 million gumball machine and fast food toys she’s collected over the past 6 months.

You’re also thinking THANK YOU JESUS I can just make myself coffee in the morning and get myself ready for work and not worry about refereeing the short and sassy people for a few days. You can also eat your 5-year-old’s beloved Cheetos, although you must always remember to replace the bag before she returns home.

On a more productive note, one of my must do things this week was to do a little extra working out. I’ve got to burn off those Cheetos!

I dusted off my Shred DVD yesterday and about two minutes into it the sound started cutting off intermittently. Not wanting to lose my momentum (I have fitness ADD and pretty much anything will distract me from exercising…oh look a squirrel on the patio!), I continued to do the workout without stopping the DVD. I’ve done it often enough to hear MWAA HAA HAA HAA SUCKERS!”

Suddenly it occurred to me that working out to her DVD with the sound muted the entire time was nothing short of brilliant.

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I See Bread, People

April 8, 2010 By Blonde Mom 18 Comments

Last week I hit a fitness milestone. I completed the Shred Level I for the 30th time. It involved much sweating and grumbling but I did it. Oh and we won’t talk about how long it took me to do it 30 times. I didn’t say 30 consecutive times. Ahem.

We have digital scales (thank GOD they do not talk or they’d long been tossed in a fit of PMS-fueled anger) that we bought almost exactly two years ago after a beach vacation. Something about walking around in our bathing suits for a week compelled us to make this purchase. I am now officially 5 pounds over the 5 pounds I wanted to lose when we purchased our digital scales in May 2008.

So much for will power!

This means I need to lose 10 pounds, for those of you mathematically challenged like me. Not a big number, but damn if this isn’t difficult. I’m looking at YOU leftover Easter candy.

Considering I am 40, hate to exercise, love to eat and drink, and have a desk job that involves exemplary skills in chair warming, I’m thankful I don’t need to lose even more weight. I actually tried to gain weight when I hit puberty. I think at my peak of skinny girl singleness in my mid-20s I weighed 107 pounds.

Uh, now? 107 is a radio station, not a weight range I recall seeing in 15 years or so.

Still, there is a pair of size 4 Old Navy capri jeans hanging in my closet and mocking me. I bought them the summer after I had Miss A in 2005 when I managed to get down to 113 pounds (yea) and had no problems at all getting into them. I can’t bring myself to donate them to Goodwill because I think I can squeeze into them again. Seriously, someone invent a pill that mimics the calories your body burns while lactating. You’ll be a millionaire.

I’m not lactating (you’re welcome) so I’m trying to exercise more. In addition to the Shred DVD I’m trying to walk every chance I get. Sometimes the hubby will meet me at lunch at my office and we’ll walk on a trail at a local park. I’m trying to drink more water. I’m taking the steps at work. I’m avoiding fast food. I’m just trying to make smarter choices, although I’m not really officially on any type of diet. I’m also painfully aware that what I say in front of my girls sticks with them as Miss C recently looked at herself in the mirror and asked me if her butt was getting big. No I am not kidding, unfortunately. SOOOOO no more “diet” talk or “Gawd I’ve got to lose weight” talk from me. I do talk about staying in shape or working out or being fit, which is much more positive language.

I have lost two pounds this year and I’m certain I’ve lost some inches, although I’m lazy and have not taken measurements. I still see extra weight in my face in recent pictures, though, and I’m not happy about that.

I do see some definition in my waistline for the first time in a long time and that makes me pretty happy.

I’d love to lose another 2 pounds by the time is school is out May 27, also known as Come To Jesus Meeting With My Tankini Day since outdoor pools open Memorial Day weekend.

Baby steps people.

Baby steps AWAY from the bread basket.

And don’t you love how I’ve managed to avoid telling you exactly what exactly I currently weigh throughout this entire post?

Filed Under: Blonde Moments 18 Comments

Squashing The Remnants Of My Youthful Ego

March 4, 2010 By Blonde Mom 21 Comments

I’ve been working out for a few weeks and have written off Cokes for Jesus (I figured if I could survive, excuse me if we could survive, a month of me not drinking my usual wine in January unscathed than surely soft drinks for Lent would be a no brainer) and although I have not lost much weight I can now see definition in my waistline OH HAPPY DAY.

Last night I was flitting around the kitchen in workout shorts and a sweatshirt feelin’ all good and fit and the hubby said, “Girls, aren’t you proud of mommy for working out?”

Feeling cocky, I lifted up my shirt and did the whole exaggerated stomach suck-in thing. (What? You never do that?)

Miss C yelled out “Mommy IS PREGNANT!”

Then Miss A went on a “Mommy is preg-a-nent” teasing kick, and followed it up with a question only a 4-year-old could ask. “Wouldn’t it be funny if mommy had a baby dog and a baby cat in her tummy?”

Yeah, thanks girls. Real funny.

Oh and I am SO not preg-a-nent.