Power Plays And Pirouettes

Last week we entered unchartered territory known as more than one extracurricular activity. I know, I know. Some of you truly busy moms with more than two kids all signed up for sports and activities like Carmen or THE Busy Mom are laughing (between the two of them they have nine kids). I’m just trying to ease into this whole song and dance.

In addition to soccer (I can’t quite believe it’s her fifth season), Miss C is now taking an introduction to tap, ballet, and jazz dance class on Monday afternoons. I wasn’t planning on this, but after her summer ballet class she was channeling Angelina Ballerina and practically sleeping in her tutu and we’d already committed to fall soccer. I told her we’d try both this fall, but if it was too much she’d have to pick one activity in the spring.

As you can see, she is truly hating the dance thing and I have to drag her to class.


So far it’s going really well. Dance classes actually started in August, but I asked the studio owner if we could wait until after Labor Day to sign up, what with first grade starting and all. On Saturday Miss C made the only goal for her soccer team in a game against their long-time rival.

I told another mom last week at soccer practice that we were trying both soccer and dance this fall and she told me they did the same thing last year and quote, unquote, it “sucked.”

I’m just waiting for a shoe to drop, and I’m not sure if it will be a soccer cleat, a ballet slipper, or a tap shoe.

Sweating It

Dear Neighborhood Psycho Fitness Mom:

I’ve never run into you at the playground before, but you amaze me with your ability to turn an afternoon with your kids into a workout.

OK, to be honest, I’m not running at the park am I? I’m sitting on my butt. As I watched you do power lunges on the park benches and speed walk around the swing sets like some kind of crazed Richard Simmons groupie on crack, pumping your arms and counting laps, I felt compelled to get up and do something. What, I don’t know, but I contemplated doing some jumping jacks or dropping to the ground and doing some push ups. Then I came to my senses and remembered that I use my solo neighborhood walks as a chance to escape the house by myself. Maybe I should have asked you if you needed me to watch your kids while you went for a jog? No, that would have been really crazy.

Please stop making me feel guilty as I take these precious moments of down time to check my cell phone voice mail and watch the girls play sit on my ass. I nearly broke a sweat each time you squeezed your glutes and shouted over to your kids on the monkey bars: “Hold on sweeties, mommy’s got one more set of reps!”

Love,

Blonde Mom

Considering Banning Spongebob Indefinitely

On the way home from buying a new mattress Sunday (rest in peace old plank, hubby and I and our twinging backs will not miss you), the girls were giddy with late afternoon errand running tiredness and the amusement of pouncing on mattress after mattress after mattress. When the very young salesperson told us to lie down on our prospective mattress and just relax for 15 minutes or so to get a feel for it we laughed because by then the girls would have hijacked the store delivery truck and headed for the nearest McDonald’s.

I turned around to tell the girls something and Miss C makes a comment that can only come from a 6-year-old.

Mommy, let me see your Spongebob teeth.

What?

Mommy, you’ve got Spongebob teeth

I am then bombarded with a litany of Spongebob insults from Miss C which somehow segued into boob talk (it’s either boobs or poop around here) followed by non-stop laughter and Miss C giving herself a wicked case of the hiccups from laughing so hard.

Mommy you’ve got Spongebob boobies!

No…you’ve got Patrick boobies!

And then the worse of the backseat club insults:

Mommy you’ve got Squidward boobies!


I’m not sure what classifies my boobies as Squidward boobies, but it can’t be good.

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