I have a heinous cold. That’s right. Not just a cold, but a heinous one. I was feeling much better earlier today and my dad brought me soup but the evil cold demons are creeping into my throat and dragging me down into the abyss of warm blankets, cold medicine brain, and bleary eyes.

So, I have nothing to blog about really.

Except, wait. My e-mail Inbox is always good for blog fodder.

Behold, the muffin top eliminating underwear for men!

Before:

After:

I got an actual press release about this product from designer Andrew Christian earlier this week and it is still cracking me up, although I’m sure there is a market for it.

The only thing that bugs me is they could have used a more dramatic “before” photo, like say my stomach on Thanksgiving afternoon. I mean COME ON people. Is that really a muffin top? Did he miss spin class that day? Is he, what, .8 ounces over his ideal weight? The anti-muffin top briefs are definitely not marketed toward the WalMart on payday crowd. They usually resort to big daddy coveralls and a white t-shirt. That variety of muffin top is beyond being reined in by some wimpy elastic band and is more accurately described as the one 12-pack too many beer belly. I’ll shut up for now before I start sounding like a bad Jeff Foxworthy routine.

The designer also has a line of butt lifting underwear for women. Now we’re talkin!

More absurdity in men’s foundational garments from I Could Cry But I Don’t Have Time.

Seinfeld was truly ahead of its time.