Will she help me whittle my core? Only time and my ability to stay away from chocolate, carbs, and cheese will tell.

I have made it through the 30-minute Shred DVD by Jillian Michaels fourteen times since trying it for the first time earlier this month.

The cardio? Nearly kills me, especially the butt kicks, but I can now breeze through the jumping jacks.

The push ups? Whimper inducing initially but now I have conquered them! And my arms already look toner. I mean I’m no Michelle Obama, but they’re not bad.

I’ve put a lot of faith into the crunches segment. After two c-sections and gaining at least 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight with Miss A (a true Southern lady never reveals her weight) my problem area is definitely my core.

If  my core were an apple, it would be applesauce baby!

The second or third time I gutted through the DVD the hubby was doing some work from home, glanced up from his laptop to look at the TV, and commented that the woman on the screen was doing full body push ups.

Oh no he didn’t.

There I was struggling  just to complete the girly knees on the floor version.

I replied (and in an OMG I’m dying tone, not a sexy Marilyn Monroe breathiness) “I’M FOLLOWING THE WOMAN ON THE RIGHT! THE BEGINNERS’ VERSION! ...SHUT UP!”

He has since limited his comments to more uplifting statements such as, “You can do it!”

On a positive note my legs were only sore for a couple of days after starting the Shred DVD. OK so maybe I could barely walk up and down the steps at work without wincing in pain on days 2 and 3, but it got easier.

Unfortunately I fell off the Shred wagon two weekends ago what with snow days and conference days messing with my routine, but I’m going to do the Shred workout 16 days in a row until I hit the magic 30 number. Then I’m not sure what crazy fitness goals I may set. I just know our spring break in mid-March is way too early and I’m always way too white and flabby once it’s warm enough to put on shorts. Someone needs to invent a self-tanning patch that is laced with tequila and fades spider veins.

I will also try not to weigh myself obsessively because yesterday I stepped on the scales and had a come to Jesus moment. The number was starting to go the wrong way.

I’m sure it’s just my fat turning to muscle, right? RIGHT? Not the cream cheese frosting with sprinkles on top chocolate cupcake I ate yesterday at work or the steak with blue cheese sandwich and fries I ate Saturday. This morning I’ve had organic tea, Cheerios, and a banana. Doesn’t sound quite as fun, does it?

Any way, you might want to start praying for me now. There’s a reason Shred rhymes with dead.