Sass: The Universal Sign Of Healing


Getting ready for “happy juice” in her party hat and fish gown and pink gloves pilfered by Daddy.

Yesterday was a rough day, but I was prepared.

Or so I thought.

There’s nothing more frightening than being unable to comfort your child and succumbing to total helplessness. For a short while, and thank God it was fleeting, I had a moment when I saw my daughter hurting and scared and I could do nothing in my own power to truly alleviate that pain.

Miss A was scheduled to have a tympanoplasty, an outpatient procedure to repair her right eardrum, at 11:30, so we had to be downtown at the surgery care center at 9:30.

I am so thankful I married a man with a sense of humor, who is extremely gentle with his daughters but who is also tough as hell (side note to all you single women, this is a great combo). He could sense Miss A’s nervousness as she was prepped for surgery so he “borrowed” a few pink examining gloves that were in stock in the surgery prep area in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

The surgery took less than an hour, as expected, and while I read a book in the waiting area the hubby walked with Miss C down to Rotiers, a Nashville mainstay from the 1940s known for its cheeseburgers and famous clientele, like Jimmy Buffett.

The surgeon called me back to a small meeting room and told me everything went well, although more than once he’s noted that she really “did a number” on her ear. I want my girls to be overachievers but I draw the line when it means self-inflicted BODILY HARM.

I went back  to the waiting area for about 15 more minutes and was told I could come back to see her in the recovery area. She was out of it and as she woke up it was obvious she was in a lot of pain. That I was NOT prepared for. She is a tough girl with a high tolerance for pain and I knew she was really uncomfortable. The nurse gave her morphine through her IV and then about 30 minutes later Miss A was able to sit up and she gave her Lortab. That’s a lot of medication for a 41-pound little girl but after another 30 minutes or so passed she was finally able to make a few meager attempts at eating a grape popsicle and she was ready to get rid of her IV.

We headed home and she spent most of the afternoon dozing on the sofa and watching the same Scooby Doo DVD over and over, and I tried to keep small amounts of fluids in her but she kept getting sick.

I knew she was turning a corner about 5 when she wanted to sit in the recliner. She just wanted to sit and rock gently for a while and not read or watch TV. Trying to make her laugh, I lifted up my sweater to show her my tummy and told her I’d eaten way too many french fries at lunch.

She patted my stomach and said, “Ewww mommy cover THAT UP! You’re going to make me throw up again!”

And that’s when I KNEW she was going to be just fine.

All kidding aside, Miss A has had a great night and is sleeping as I type this. She woke up once at 3 a.m. and came in our bedroom to tell me she was thirsty and hungry and that she was sad that she never got to eat breakfast yesterday. She also told me that I was the best mommy in the world, that her daddy was the best daddy, and that Miss C was the best sister and that I was pretty even when I wear my glasses.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Yesterday the girls were playing quietly in our formal living room, which should have been my first clue that something was awry.

Parenting Rule 102, Section 2.0: If your kids are quiet for an extended period of time then something is about to drop, break, burst, implode, explode, or spontaneously combust. It’s a veritable Russian Roulette of catastrophe just waiting to happen.

Miss A burst into the den sobbing and holding her ear.

“What happened?!” I asked, knowing that whatever it was, it was not good.

Through her tears she explained as best she could, with Miss C at her side looking quite distressed, that she had cleaned out her right ear with a Q-tip and then forgot about it as they were playing and then laid down her head directly on to the Q-tip. Later Miss C confessed to telling her to go get a Q-tip after she said her ear was bothering her.

I tried not to panic and the hubby rocked Miss A. She was crying, but fairly calm, as I called the pediatrician’s emergency line. We waited for the doctor on call to phone back and I started getting us all prepped for what I was sure would be Miss A’s second trip to the ER. The hubby then calmly and quietly looked at me and said in a low voice, “We are DEFINITELY going…there is a little blood coming out of her ear.”

And then I really thought I was going to lose it.

Our pediatrician’s office called back within about 10 minutes and my husband explained what had happened and they told us to head to the clinic, and not the ER, which was somewhat comforting. I called our parents to tell them what happened and I was trying to stay calm but any time your child is bleeding from THEIR EAR, no matter how small an amount, it’s scary.

The pediatrician on call checked out her ear and said she’d ruptured her ear drum. 90 percent of these injuries heal fine, he reassured us, so we’re putting special steroid/antibiotic drops in her ears for 10 days and crossing our fingers. I’ll take her to her doctor in two weeks for a follow-up, so we’d appreciate all the prayers and good vibes we can get.

Miss A was playing later that afternoon as if nothing had happened after she’d had some Ibuprofen. The administering of the ear drops seems to cause plenty of trauma, though, and there is much cuddling involved. Oh and I left out the best part. We have to put the ear drops in her ears three times a day.

She got a sparkly glitter tattoo at the drug store after the whole ordeal and some gum drops.

I got a new reason to put Q-tips under lock and key and drink on Sundays.

Disclosure: I don’t want to get sued by Q-tip so let me just reiterate you should never, ever let your kids have access to ear swabs. Ever. Besides, these were Publix brand ear swabs.

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