Miss C and I headed to the toy store last weekend. It was a lazy, rainy day…a perfect day for her to go shopping with the gift card she received last month for her birthday.
At 9 she’s at that age where so many of the toys she played with just a couple of years ago are no longer on her “cool slash must have” list. She bypassed all things pink and glittery and ultimately settled on a fun new virtual pet game for her Nintendo DS.
As we walked toward the checkout aisle, I overheard a sales associate asking a woman if she needed help finding anything.
“We’re looking for a, uh… dracula girl doll?” I heard the woman inquire with a nervous giggle.
Dracula. Girl. Doll.
I knew exactly what she was talking about.
The salesperson led her to the Monster Hell, I mean Monster High, aisle, an aisle that, thankfully, Miss C breezed right by. My girls tend to be tomboys, but when they do play with dolls they go for the good and boring and predictable variety, like American Girl or Barbie.
When I was a kid the level of bizarre doll universe was pretty well limited to my brother ripping Barbie’s head off and switching it with Skipper’s. These days, though, the freak level of dolls marketed for little girls seems to be somewhere between pole dancer and spawn of Lady Gaga. (Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Lady Gaga but I don’t necessarily think 6-year-olds need to play with dolls that wear more make up than clothing.)
If you’re not familiar with Monster High dolls, think slutty great granddaughters of Morticia Addams. While I have friends whose daughters love these dolls, I am not shedding any tears over the fact that my girls have never expressed interest in them.
I love how the Toys R Us website promotes this doll from the Monster High series (and as a reminder, this is a series of dolls that is marketed toward girls ages 6 and up.)
Lagoona is always dressed in a hip outfit that’s ready for surfing, volleyball or meeting some guys.
I bet she is.
And Barbie here I thought you were such a wild and crazy girl with your dream townhouse parties back in the 70s.








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