Parenting

Sh*t My Couch Says

February 21, 2012 By Blonde Mom 6 Comments

I disassembled our couch Friday and vacuumed underneath the cushions since I couldn’t remember the last time I had done that or if I’d actually ever done it. Despite our sofa being only about 6 months old, its nooks and crannies are already a magnet for various and sundry items that I can pretty much blame on the small inhabitants of our house.

If our new couch could talk, I can only imagine what it would say:

I am not a dirty clothes hamper! Get that stinky sock away from me!

You’re not supposed to be eating on me….PUT THE PRETZELS DOWN.

Wait, did you just wipe your nose with that thing?

I appreciate you doing homework on me, but can you put away the dracula eraser and the sharp pencil?

Obviously the girls are not taking my high mama decree of NO EATING ON THE NEW COUCH too seriously although I suppose one pretzel isn’t too bad.

What you can’t see are a few Jack dog hair tumbleweeds that managed to make their way under the couch cushions even though he doesn’t get on the couch. Dog hair…it’s sneaky like that. And of course I didn’t find any money. Sniff!

Next in this series…

Sh*t The Interior Of My Car Says (Man if it could only talk, it would say a lot. It takes a lot of abuse. Ahem.)

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in your couch?

Have you seen this hilarious video from Mama Knows It All? If you’re a mom blogger you will definitely get a laugh out of it!

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Filed Under: Blonde Moments, My Girls, Parenting 6 Comments

Love Is All You Need (Well, That And Wine)

February 13, 2012 By Blonde Mom 9 Comments

Photo from D Sharon Pruitt, Pink Sherbet Photography (Flickr Creative Commons)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

To all my parent friends, do you remember Valentine’s with your spouse before kids? Heck do you remember LIFE before kids? And wait…are people actually going out to celebrate Valentine’s Day?

All kidding aside, we’ll have a nice dinner, but it will be at home with the girls.

Here’s my take on Valentine’s Day, pre-kids and post-kids. Good times.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Spending hours combing through lingerie racks at Victoria’s Secret.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Spending hours trying to find a sucker, I mean babysitter.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Finding the perfect romantic restaurant.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Finding the best takeout pizza coupon.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Spraying tantalizing perfume on all your pulse points.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Spraying disinfectant on all your household surfaces and praying no one brings home the latest crud from school.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Writing the perfect love letter.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Writing your kids’ classmates names on their Valentine party favors.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Savoring each bite of Godiva chocolate.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Wolfing down the Godiva chocolate in your car before you pick up your kids from school.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Waking up to a nice steamy shower together.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Waking up to a nice steamy poop filled diaper.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Staying up late watching a classic romantic period film.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Staying up late watching your 4th grader rehearse her Revolutionary War oral report.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Falling asleep in each others’ arms after reading each other poetry.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Falling asleep in your kids’ beds after reading the latest Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.

Valentine’s Day Pre-Kids
Slipping into your sexiest heels.
Valentine’s Day Post-Kids
Slipping into your comfiest yoga pants.

Do you have any Valentine’s Day pre-kids, post-kids snippets of your own to share?

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Filed Under: Parenting 9 Comments

Taylor Swift For President And Bearded Ladies

February 7, 2012 By Blonde Mom 4 Comments

Sometimes I wish I had a hidden camera in my car to record all of the girls’ hilarious conversations about random and sundry things.

Case in point, my girls definitely have an opinion about what type of person should be running the country.

“The government takes way too much of our money…the government is really rich, right?” asked Miss A on the way home from dinner.

“Well…not really. Our government is in debt. That’s why it’s so important that we choose the right president in the election,” I started to explain, without getting too deep into politics with a first grader.

“Mom, you know what we need? We need a GIRL president,” announced Miss A.

“Yeah, but we don’t just want a president just because she’s a girl,” said Miss C.

Miss A: “She needs to be smart and nice….like TAYLOR SWIFT!”

At least they’re interested in politics and current affairs at a young age.

Of course 5 minutes later, Miss A piped up from the back seat:

“You know what would be weird? If a lady grew up and had a beard!”

By the time we got home, not 5 minutes later, we were discussing the perils of hitchhiking.

Who needs The View when you have The Backseat?

Do you ever wish you recorded all the crazy, cool conversations you have with your kids? Wait, I guess that’s why I BLOG.